Deviant1

After 25-ish years of relationships that progressed to living together, I've lived independently for nearly seven years and really enjoy the peace that comes with keeping my house in the way I want and having full control of the thermostat and my bedtime, for example. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly five years, and we spend an average of two days and three nights a week under the same roof, but both like our separate spaces. We're deeply committed to each other for the long haul, but I feel like the expectation is that we'll move forward to living in the same house, kind of like the expectation used to be that you have to be progressing towards marriage for the relationship to be trul

Hello! My partner will be getting out of rehab soon and I'm trying to do everything I can to support him. He's wanted a "real vacation" for a long time - work stress and lack of vacations have been a complaint/trigger in the past. However, unfortunately, a lot of the things that come to mind that I think he'd enjoy (like all inclusive resorts in the Caribbean) seem to involve it even revolve around alcohol. He likes the ocean and hiking and we're in Florida.

For those of you living sober, did you encounter a problem finding vacation opportunities that didn't involve constant temptation? What kinds of things have you done to about the pervasive alcohol culture and still be able to be a touri

Pretty much the title. My partner is currently on day 2 of a 30-day inpatient detox/rehab. I want to be as supportive as I can be in him being successful, so I'm curious what others may have done for you that you feel helped you?

There's a lot of detail in my previous posts, but my partner of 4 years has been drinking about 750 ml/day or equivalent of vodka for about 2 years. He was dry when we met, and able to do "social" drinking for a while, but it spiraled out of his control.

Over the last few months, it had become an increasingly unbearable source of stress for me and I had begun the process of "detaching with love" - positioning to spend less time with him outside work and preparing to possibly need to fire him (he works with/for me at my business).

About a month ago, I had a serious talk with him about my boundaries, specifically that I wasn't going to buy a house with him while he was in active addiction.

You can see the full tale amongst my previous posts and comments but the short of it is that my partner of 4 years has been in full functional alcoholic mode for a couple years, including drinking at work where he works for me in the business I own. Never abusive, never ragingly drunk, but going through a half to a full 1.75 of vodka every day. We're at a point where moving in together and buying a house is on the table.

Well, I just did it... We were having a conversation about my business which led to a housing talk which led to me saying I'm not willing to financially entangle with someone in active addiction, mentioned as a fact that he drinks at work, and that this does affect me to th

Basically, the title question. My Q is at a point where his family is talking about intervention. I know he's got to be the one to make the decision so I'm wondering if anyone has ever had an intervention actually "work"?

My love,

I want to start by saying how much I care about you. I admire your strength, your humor, and the way you show up for the people you care about. You mean so much to me, and I wouldn’t be writing this if you weren’t such a huge part of my heart and my life.

There’s something I’ve been holding inside because I don’t want to hurt you, judge you, or make you feel cornered. I know you think your drinking is a "you" thing. But the truth is it hurts me to see how much drinking has been affecting you. I notice how it takes a toll on your body, your memory, your emotions, and even the way you feel at work. I know it’s not easy to hear this, but I say it only because I care deeply about your

About 3 months ago, I significantly curtailed my alcohol use. It was an unexpected side effect of taking semaglutide for weight loss - about 3 months after starting it, I woke up one day and the idea of having a drink kind of disgusted me. I'd previously drank almost every day from when I got home from with until I went to bed, 4 or 5 drinks, and it was definitely a compulsion, not a choice. I now have an average of 1-2 drinks per week (special event, red wine with good steak, that kind of thing). When I do, I no longer feel compelled to keep going. It's been really great.

I've experienced the same positive benefits that everyone does - feel better overall, mornings are better, digestion an

I remember that when I was a young kid, I called out people for bad behavior and had some boundaries that I enforced (like don't talk to me that way). As I grew up, I got "sandpapered down" (by parents, teachers, and others) in the name of politeness and now, if I look at it objectively, tend to not speak up, to an unhealthy degree.

Nowadays, it seems like everyone is talking about setting and enforcing boundaries and normalizing it. Does anyone else feel like our generation was raised in a social climate of "keep it to yourself" and now we have boundary issues? It was it just individual parents that were like that and it wasn't really cultural?