E115lement

Last night, I had a few hours to myself. Every once in a while I like to try on makeup for a bit then take it off shortly afterwards (in secret). A while ago I had gotten a pinkish nail polish that I hadn't tried on yet, and after I put it on (very poorly, lol) it felt really nice. Like just being able to look down at my hands while doing something else and seeing my nails painted was really euphoric. It felt really casual, like how my hands and body are supposed to look. I hope soon I can do it again, this time actually leaving it on :)

Zeno. Looks like Wesker, moves like Wesker, has the same voice actor as RE4R Wesker, but isn't Wesker. Victor refers to him as a "cheap imitation" which I think was him calling Zeno a Spencer wannabe. So is he a clone?

I think about being a girl almost every second of every day. I have a first and middle name picked out, I know what kind of style I want, what pronouns I want, everything. But it feels impossible. Coming out just feels like a monumental roadblock that seems completely impassible. Why? Why can't I just be a girl. Ugh.

I never seriously considered being trans (like, at all) but I recently realized that I kinda do. I've never had an intense feeling of not wanting to be a guy but I realize I'm just not a masculine guy. I thought about how various feminine things (skirts, dresses, makeup, earrings, kinda just feeling cute in general) are very appealing to me and might make me actually proud to look the way I do. I tried out adding "she/her" to my Twitter bio and changing my display name to one that I find to be a really pretty name. Even though I only had it up for a few seconds, it felt awsome.

My main problem is I just have so many worries. I'm scared of being invalid because of my lack of strong feeling a

In the last two seasons I have had encounters where I shot someone while they were self reviving (wether it be as doc or rook) and they didn't die. One of these occasions there was even blood slatters. Is this a glitch or a deliberate change?

I feel like all my Div2 effort is wasted tbh. Obviously in part due to seasonal characters (what the actual fuck btw) but also story wise as they had a seemingly loyal agent just go Rouge and had AARON FUCKING KEENER and Purnell just resurrect. Ubisoft can't do anything right huh.