MegaImpossible

Guys, I fucking love you. I've been following Egoraptor for years and I was so excited to see Arin and Jon team up for a show. It's been absolutely amazing to see the show grow so much and to really get to know all of you a little better.

I recently ran into some money issues and have had to move back with my parents temporarily, and during that time I became very distant with my friends, most who had moved away or even the ones close by. I ran through a really hard depression in my life, I would wake up and stare at the wall next to my bed for hours before I could even will myself to move. I wanted to die, and I was angry all the time, and I just felt alone even with my friends right besid

I've been gay for as long as I can remember. But, no matter what, I've always been scared to take that first step to get into a relationship with someone of the same sex. I'm only out to my friends (and not even all of them), no one in my family or at my job knows i'm gay. I've been alone for a long time and have had no way to express it. I've always wanted to be the center of someone's world, but I've never met anyone in my gay community, and I'm so fucking scared of taking that first step. I don't know if it's the alcohol, or if I should have gotten over this a long time ago... I feel self-loathing a lot of the time... I don't think I've ever come to terms with being gay. I think I still d

I hurt my wrist today at work, and they made me go to the medical center to get it checked. What I didn't realize is that they had to drug test me as well. I have been smoking pretty regularly for a couple of months now, there's no way I'll pass this test. I freaked out and just walked out of the building before getting tested. Now my boss is calling me (which I've ignored) telling me I have to go back today and get the test done. I don't... I can't lose this job r/trees... I just can't. Please, if there's any help or advice you can give me... please, I just don't know what to do.

EDIT: Thanks for the words of advice, if any of y'all are interested in the result, I'll post it soon. I'm goin