MexicanSpaceProgram

Normally I'd apologise for the hiatus, but we managed to get a week and change so took some leave and went camping. Actually, the fuck am I apologising to you arseholes for? The good news is we finally got a decent chunk of time between the two of us (three if you count an extremely dumb Labrador), the place is painted, and all the insurance crap is dealt with, though something else did come up with the tenants...

Where were we? Ah. Druish Boss bought a lightbulb for a projector that had already been paid for but he had to pay for again in a weird scheme that involved a cock-muncher from his church finding a way to save money that actually cost them more. Business as usual, mazel tov

Back to our regularly scheduled programming, and I started a new Word doc because the other one got too long and spellcheck shat itself.

So, if anyone recalls, Zeppelin was quite unhappy, but fuck it, we had actual work to do. The Client finally got back to us with (some of) the details we'd requested as far as what they actually wanted us to do and what the setup was in Oman, and it came down to the following:

• Run another local training session, this one in full as a dress rehearsal so that their "key stakeholders" would be proficient in it.

• There's nothing in Oman but some demountable offices and accommodation. No (or extremely limited) internet. Whatever we needed for training

Any ideas if there are any plans to make DAII backwards compatible with the Xbox One? Tried it the other day thinking "it was a big title from a known developer, surely it is!", but no dice - though for some reasons Origins is.

Google was bloody useless - some sites said it was planned for June 2016, but the current list doesn't include it and I can't find anything to confirm / deny if it is or was, or if there are currently any plans to make it playable on the One.

Note: this is not at all work-related, just the bullshit that I've been dealing with the lately. I started bitching about it to the person involved, and she told me to "just write it on your stupid internet crap because I don't want to fucking hear it". It should also be noted that the MexicanSpaceProgram does not always prevail, hence...

So, the fiancee and I finally got a few days together. Like a few actual days, not just a weekend or some stupid shit. She's on her off hitch, I took some time off work, sounds good, right? Only question is, what do we do with it?

Well, I thought about it - we could take a trip, or even just have a mini-break and stay at a hotel, or go camping or s

I should really push on with the nuts and bolts of this, instead of the Zeppelin-tormenting, unless you arseholes really want more of that (and he gets it in the end). We're really getting into the rabbit hole here.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. We've now got the Client's training shit ready to go, so I use my graduates as guinea pigs (handy trick for spotting typos in PowerPoint, and, well, shit - maybe they'll learn something). Stewart bitches that he's already seen this shit because he had to do all the formatting so should get an exemption, but I ignore it because, well, Stewart is a bitch. Zeppelin asks if he can be included, and you can probably guess my response.

Only other

Well, what a shitcunt of a day. For our knuckle-dragging American friends, Australia Day was on Thursday, and I know it boggles your little insect-minds to think it, but public holidays and fireworks were invented outside of America.

For instance, public holidays were invented in Wagga Wagga by a group of hungover sheep shearers, and fireworks were invented by the treacherous Chinese.

Well, anyway, first thing that happened here was they cancelled the fireworks because [some shithead having a mid-life crisis managed to get a plane, and dump himself and his half-his-age mistress into the Swan River in front of 100,000 people waiting for the fireworks, killing them both](http://www.abc.

Let this be a warning: sometimes fucking with people backfires. Also, apologies for the hiatus - it was the Australia Day public holiday so I look a day or two off either side.

Next morning, get in, have a couple darts and a coffee, go up and the first email in my queue is:

Attn: All

Sub: DESK MISSING FROM TRAINING OFFICE URGENT HIGH IMPORTENCE HIGH PRIORITY (yeah, the fat cunt used all three email flags).

I came in this morning and we're still missing a desk from the Training Group office area. I was expecting to find it back after my email yesterday but it is still gone. Our files are still in a pile on the floor after they were dumped by whoever took it.

Understandably, I showed up a little late the next day - around 10.30 in the morning. I was also in a foul fucking mood, between Zeppelin's bullshit, having to throw my graduates under the airship bus, and nursing a significant hangover. Druish Boss wisely kept his mouth shut and didn't say a fucking word. Right, time to organise shit, by which I mean dump it on other people. Call a meeting, onwards and upwards.

"So that's basically it. This is going to be a lot of shit that you guys aren't ready to do, with a lot of hours. That being said, when all of this gets invoiced, the rewards should be substantial. Any questions?".

"Yeah", says Kylie. "Do I get new business cards?"

"

"Zeppelin", says the Jew. "Can you give us a minute?" (it was definitely not phrased as a question).

Zeppelin inflates his internal gas bladders and waddles out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Good fucking riddance, you goddamned useless yeast infection of a human being.

"We're committed to doing the work", says Druish Boss.

"Nah", says I. "You and Zeppelin are committed to doing the work, not a fucking thing to do with me".

"MexicanSpaceProgram, we've been trying to get work from [Client] for years and never had any luck".

"Until", says I. "You handed in a bid that was way under and [Client] gave it to us because they always fucking lowball".

"We need to fix this".

Warning - this is another long one, but if it makes you feel any better the Word doc I write all this shit in before uploading it is up to 268 pages, and 119,000 words. I'm also breaking this up into parts because the last time I tried posting a long one, reddit had a fucking conniption.

To get the ball rolling, let me just say it - I fucking hate training. I hate developing the material, I hate presenting it, and there's hardly any money to be made from it anyway since it's such a flooded market. Nonetheless, we had a training department, lead by a useless fat cunt.

Ordinarily, I didn't have a fucking thing to do with them - 99% of what they did was just stupid off-the-shelf bullshit

Warning: not only is this long, but if you guys thought I was a cunt before, well, shit - the rabbit wombat hole goes deeper.

Anyone that's ever worked in an office will know what I'm talking about, or whom I'm talking about - the one that's always hitting colleagues up for charity and fundraising bullshit. "Want to buy a Mars bar? It's for my son's boy scout camp", or "want to buy a raffle ticket? All proceeds go to my daughter's cheerleading bullshit". In most cases you can safely ignore them - hell, a lot of companies have policies against it because they don't want to be seen as endorsing it. "Want to sponsor my fun run to conquer arse cancer?". Sure, as long as your fun r

In my usual spirit of bluntness, I make no secret of the fact that I'm not particularly fond of the Middle East, especially Saudi and the UAE (you may have even read some of my opinions in earlier pieces). While a blanket statement like "they're all cunts" is a bit over the top, even for me, suffice it to say I'm not overly fond of not being able to have a cold beer after work, while some shithead that's been watching satellite TV gives me his opinion that "alcohol is poison and is forbidden in the Qu'ran" is on his 40th Marlboro Red of the day.

That, and I've never been thrilled with these wankers that go on about how fucking wonderful Dubai is, when it was built on the backs of poor cunt

I've had a look through the sub and though there's a few different ones about "what was it like in the Reich for normal Germans?" and such, but one question I've wondered is how / when the rhetoric became standard fare in things like primary and secondary education?

Obviously you've got things like the Hitler Youth and BDM, which from what I understand started off as social / sporting club and then became a mandatory propaganda tool for boys and girls, but at what point did Hans go to school studying biology and history and science, and the next day was learning about Aryan purity, the Germans as ubermensch, and the great plans and benevolence of the Fuhrer?

I had a search through EMSK and didn't find any concrete (read: practical and useful) guidance on this, so I thought I'd put together a basic guide based on what I've learned on both sides of the desk when it comes to job applications. I'm also happy to do more of these if anyone is interested.

I'm also going to tailor it, where possible, for two different groups:

• People that have an established career and work history.

• People that are new to the workforce (e.g. high school or college graduates).

1) Thoroughly read and understand the job advertisement / description and what it is asking you to do.

This is a very basic screening technique, and you'd be amazed how many people get