PhantomRecluse7

I'm only alive because I don't want to hurt my family with my death. That's literally my only motivation to stay alive. I don't want to work my whole life, I'd rather just die, and I'm not joking. I consume lots of weed because it stops me from harming myself. I refuse to go back to the psych ward because I'll just get worse over there. I have bpd and I lost my fp and it feels like a piece of my soul was ripped out. Where do I even go from here?