RaiderDamus

The following is a work of humor and satire about the Las Vegas Raiders. It may contain offensive language and imagery, and due to its content it should not be read by anyone.

Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, the poobah of prognostication, the sultan of sages, the father of foresight, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful. I come to you today fresh off another correct prediction of a Raiders loss to the Rams, and here we stand once again staring down the barrel of another lost season with our only consolation in sight being a high draft pick.

Our most ancient enemy stands before us, and to that end I've asked the Great Beyond for his thoughts regarding Sunday's game against Kansas City.

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The following is a work of humor and satire about the Las Vegas Raiders. It may contain offensive language and imagery, and due to its content it should not be read by anyone.

Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, the top of the muffin, the straw that stirs the drink, and the fromage in your omelette. I come to you today fresh off a correct prediction of a Raiders loss to Pittsburgh, and it seems that the Raiders, after alternating wins and losses, have settled into a comfortable routine of just losing. This is a good thing for the Raiders and their fans, because we can all stop caring, and the Raiders can try to draft their quarterback of the future. There are no less than six quarterbacks in

The following is a work of humor and satire about the Las Vegas Raiders. It may contain offensive language and imagery, and due to its content it should not be read by anyone.

Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, the lyrical miracle, the essential intellectual, the man who goes harder than the tree that killed Sonny Bono, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful. I come to you today despondent off the heels of another Raiders loss, and I know that forgetting football exists would be best for my mental health, and all of yours as well. But the fact is that if I cared about myself or my well-being at all I wouldn't be a Raiders fan, and so here I am, battered and bruised, claiming I didn't hear no be

The following is a work of humor and satire about the Las Vegas Raiders. It may contain offensive language and imagery, and due to its content it should not be read by anyone.

Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, the mic rula, the old schoola, the man who makes the homies say "ho" and the girlies wanna scream, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful. I come to you today pleased that the Raiders overcame the Browns in their last game, but disappointed that Vegas' star receiver, Davante Adams, has decided he wants to take his ball and go play elsewhere.

While I cannot blame him for not wanting to continue catching passes from the football equivalent of the White Sox bullpen, this only goes to cemen

The following is a work of humor and satire about the Las Vegas Raiders. It may contain offensive language and imagery, and due to its content it should not be read by anyone.

Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, the one who knocks, the straw that stirs the drink, the rare medium who's always well done, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful. I come to you today pleased as punch about the Raiders' unexpected road victory over a suddenly hapless Ravens team. To win a road game on the East Coast is rare for the Raiders, and doubly so when beating a team which could easily have won the AFC last season if their game plan wasn't to abandon everything that made them good.

The win in Baltimore turned t

The following is a work of humor and satire about the Las Vegas Raiders. It may contain offensive language and imagery, and due to its content it should not be read by anyone.

Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, the pontiff of prognostication, the father of foresight, the sultan of seers and the World's Freshest Man, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful. It has been a long week of reflection in my hermit cave, reflecting on the Raiders' pathetic loss to the Chargers in Week 1. We should have seen it coming. During training camp, all the Raiders reporters told us the team had an elite defense and an offense that did not know its ass from a hole in the ground. And they showed up in Los Angeles a

Hey guys, Raiderdamus here. These Foretellings are posted to the Raider Ramble, but since links there are forbidden, I'm just going to post it directly here for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy!

The following is a work of humor and satire about the Las Vegas Raiders. It may contain offensive language and imagery, and due to its content it should not be read by anyone.

Greetings, Raider Nation! It is I, the man with a face for radio and a voice for a monastery, your hero, your paragon of virtue, the world's most dangerous football-related humorist, Raiderdamus the Great and Powerful. It's a new season of Raiders football and, for the 13th year in a row, I am back to piss in the cornflakes of ev