Robinredott

Very rarely do I see mainstream article that admits to dose (quite high!) and multiple repetitions, but CNN handled this with the proper context - suggesting PTSD and SI as the main targets, and noting that controlled use is essential to avoid addiction and physiological problems. For this author to take 90mg via infusion, assuming she is not over 100kg in weight, it is the same as I take of snorted powder to get into the k-hole (I'm 100kg and take about 200mg). Normally I see 90% of public reports about lozenges which are often low dose being taken every few days for months if not longer. This article and I both did 6 sessions over 2-3 weeks - I found this pattern recommended by a number of

When I started my sessions over 2 years ago, on low doses, music was very enjoyable and fun. As I got into the higher doses and into the K-hole, I found that music was distracting me from going deep. It sounded pretentious and from a place of ego. I don't mean that in a bad way, but it made me think the creators were from the world of people that I was trying to get away from, as lovely as it was (especially the Ukrainian Men's Choir), and it pulled me away from surrendering my ego.

I tried some deep beats, binaural beats, raw sounds, etc., but it was always the same. I always ended up taking the headphones off and going deep with just ambient room sounds (it might help that I live in a sm

I've noticed these past few days that my emails confirming my scheduled and confirmed pharmacy appointment has an additional part asking me to confirm that I'm going. This is crazy because the email is already a confirmation that I've made the appointment. So is the RSVP added here by Outlook, or does the sender have something turned on that makes that RSVP show on the email.

(I am aware that I can just answer YES, I am coming, but it's just another annoying thing that my email is starting to do that I do not want if it is not necessary. Why are these things turned on without my permission? Like Amazon putting the scheduled delivery into my calendar without asking.)

(And yes, I have alrea

I noticed that this mdma/ketamine psychiatrist's website is down. While wondering why (my podcast aggregator still has his podcasts), I found this article from 2020 that he wrote that is still exactly correct in many things, like how important dose is. This reflects my own diy experience in 2022 when I did 6 k-holes in a month and had life-changing relief from lifelong cptsd symptoms of crippling fear, guilt, shame, etc, etc, etc.
https://edition.cnn.com/2020/12/20/opinions/psychedelics-trauma-healing-this-is-life-heacock/index.html

I'm a 65+yom with lifelong cptsd symptoms of self-loathing and not believing I had a right to exist, which sabotaged everything I ever tried to do to some degree. I started reading this sub about 2 years ago but had to quit because it was triggering to hear people having the same feelings of shame and guilt that I had without many solutions - mostly seeking someone to blame (I went through that too). But now I have finally moved past my crisis and major symptoms (after 65 years!) and I just want to put something here about what I did in case it helps someone.

It boils down to 2 things once I had 15 years of psychotherapy behind me and understood generally what was wrong with me (ie the fig

I've been doing mdma therapy for about 3 years, with the last 2 years (after a bit of dabbling in the first year) with 3 guided and 2 solo sessions (ave. ~5 months apart), and I convinced myself I was making progress (65+yom with 60+ years of cptsd symptoms) but I seem to have hit a wall.

I thought it changed me radically at first, but I now think that was just the novel experience of mdma-induced empathy and love for the first time, and the hope that it could be a new day-to-day reality. I continued my psychotherapy all these years but I did reduce that as the ketamine made positive changes (see below). It's frustrating as hell to think that I have to do another x years of therapy after

Back from the Abyss podcast

A doctor who runs a ketamine clinic has posted this conversation with a therapist who uses psilocybin. I'm amazed at how well their experiences line up with my experience.

TL;DR - psilocybin is best for the kind of depression that takes all joy and willingness to live from you. ketamine is best for the kind of depression that winds you up to want to end it all.

I think I have the right. I'll listen again and fix this if not. For me with 60years of cptsd symptoms, psilocybin was brutal - letting me see through my

(Maybe this should be in r/cptsd?)

I had a very different k-hole experience 2 days ago - I didn't bother with music at all. I found that this time my mind was more free and I was more self aware during the k-hole instead of feeling distracted and lost in space. It was still an ego-free zone but my awareness of my existence was stronger. I liked it a lot more than normal and I thought it was more healing but I couldn't figure out why right away.

Today during a psychotherapy session, I had the realisation that the stronger sense of awareness of my inner self and existence has given me a stronger sense of "agency", that is, eg the experience that I have the right to take up space and have a

In case you missed it, this has so many useful data points and context and perspective from a ketamine clinic doctor in CO.

https://pca.st/episode/cdd973be-d305-467c-99bd-3b66702aba2c

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After my k-hole trip on Friday didn't work out due to (afaik) talking with a new friend during the come up (might have been different if it was an old friend - less need to connect?), I did it again last night. I had originally wanted to do a pair of sessions anyway, instead of just one, as maintenance after 2 months since my last session.

This one was a k-hole, or as a ketamine clinic doctor said the other day, a "K-home" experience of the "paleo brain". O. M. G. I wish I could remember it in words that can describe it, but it's beyond words. First I stopped sensing my body, then I stopped sensing

I did 180mg snorted recently (I'm 100kg, so 1.8mg/kg) and have done it many times and always had a light k-hole experience. This was the first time I had someone to talk to (on the phone) while I was coming up. As we chatted about how I did it and what was happening I felt it coming on strong, but then suddenly I felt it slipping away after getting about 2/3 the way to the k-hole. I got the distinct impression that this failure to launch was due to talking and wonder if anyone else has had the same or different experience.

I found it interesting because I always had the feeling while doing it solo that if there was a fire or something I could get myself together and get myself to safety, ju

The keyboard in YouTube comments are unresponsive for moments or minutes, making it hell to participate. I've discussed is it could be the gboard but it seems not. Then it occurred to me that maybe they are trying to prevent unmoderated comments so they disable text entry until....something is checked? Could that be?

I've been doing k-holes for nearly a couple of years, spread out, and find it really helped me with my non-stop negative rumination. I have not found much effect from doing low doses, like 75-100mg powder for my 100kg. I just did one an hour ago and got nothing really out of it. I did the eye shades in bed and think about episodes of my life, but I don't really get any effect to work with - just a wooziness. Should I take more, closer to a k-hole? I believe cptsd gives me very strong dissociation an/or fight/flight/faint activation that over-rides any kind of high/effect. TIA

Everything is made or being switched to plastic, including paper. We are drowning in it and polluting the ecosystem with it. I know the current discussion is about when the Anthropocene started but maybe it needs to be divided into, or split from, the Plasticine Epoch.

(It's not my fault that a product called Plasticine exists. There are disambiguations needed in many places.)