u/Tywtobyltm
My partner found a really good 12 Step program and I would like to share it here in case any of you would like to share it to your partners. This is not a "nod along" type of 12 step, there is individual step work and they require a lot of their members. My PA/SA is getting a lot out of the consistency and support of the program, but it is not a program for someone who is not ready to be all in. I hope others can get as much out of this as he has
After Dday almost 3 years ago, 2 years of fake "recovery " we have finally found some things that have actually given me a little hope. He found a wonderful SAA group. I always thought groups were just meetings that guys go to, they sit and listen and nod their heads while playing a video game or doodling on paper. Nobody really seemed to care if anyone was actually DOING anything. The group he found is a large group of guys holding each other accountable. They require a lot out of their guys and the ones who really put in the work seem to get a lot out of it. After what I have been through the last 3 years? I never thought I would be here typing this. There are things out there that can h
My partner is sitting next to me and I need help! Through Ever Accountable I discovered my partner spent hours looking at women in bikinis for a few hours this evening. This is breaking boundaries I have set. He has 24 hours to disclose this to me. I have A LOT of trouble hiding my emotions and don't know how to keep from mentioning it before the 24 hours. He has never disclosed a slip, I always discover them and call him out. I HAVE to wait this time because him disclosing is the difference between a 30 day separation and ending the relationship. I need help!
I say small but it was actually pretty big. After the news about the r*pe game published on the Steam game platform made the news, I decided to talk to my partner about it because he plays games on that platform. I didn't want him to think I was asking him to not play his games anymore so I waited while I was deciding to bring it up. Today I found put they took the game off the platform. I told him about it and called it a small victory. He was VERY saddened to find out how many of these types of games are available. Without me asking he deleted his whole Steam account and took any of the software off his computer. He said games like that are not ok and he won't participate in it. He made me
Is anyone doing or done D2C? I have a few questions about it before we sign up!
I have been having a really rough time lately. My heart and head are telling me different things. I tried to end my relationship 2 nights ago. He convinced me to hold off on making a final decision until we can spend some time talking about it. Thing is, we have this unmistakable pattern. Ever since the first Dday, I always feel like I'm MAKING him do recovery. He gets lax, I'll say something, he'll be empathetic for a while, "do" his recovery work, have better communication, but eventually go back to escapism(not with porn) low communication, and stagnant recovery that just seems like going through the motions. He had said in the past that I just want too much. I have read, researched, done
I really feel like I'm losing it. Wish I had any friends to talk to. Really feel like giving up
Does anyone have the Truple app installed on a laptop? My partner wants to get a new computer game, but he wants a computer that will be compatible with Truple, his old computer is only used for work because he can't get it to download (it is about 7 years old) Anybody know what computers are compatible with Truple?
Might be more of a rant than a question, but when did privacy between partners become such a big issue? Why is going through someone's phone seen as(by people who haven't caught someone cheating) worse than the ACTUAL cheating or deception? Why do we feel SO guilty for trying to make sure we are safe? Remember when cell phones first came out? They didn't even have a password option. Remember when we had ONE phone number? And any member of the household could answer it? And if your spouse looked at porn...there were only so many places they could hide it. Closet, car, garage, matress... and it seems lime it's only getting worse the sicker and sicker our world gets.
I live in an area where there are lots of MG parades. It's been a few years since I've been but would like to go to one this year. Given my partners past scanning issues I won't feel comfortable with him there. Is it selfish of me to tell him I am going but not with him and he is free to go with friends if he chooses knowing full well he won't go without me? Sometimes feel like I'm being punished for his addiction missing out on things I want to do but would be triggering with him there.
I have been trying off and on to find a good support group. Not necessarily a 12 step program, but one where people share and there are sponsors available? Does anyone have information on any good(free) support groups?
Very short back story, I have posted quite a few times of anyone wants more info. My partner, working towards real recovery for about 6 months, had a small slip the day before Valentines day. It was 2 weeks after my birthday which was a disaster(I felt slighted and didn't respond well and in return he didn't have empathy) The slip led to full enforcement of my boundaries, which right now is space, low contact during the workday and separate sleeping, zero intimacy. He has always had a fairly bad temper, accompanied with negative attitudes and excessive complaining when things don't go his way. He knows it is an issue and has said he will work on it. Since the slip things have gotten worse, s
For those of you who have a partner in recovery or those that have come up with a recovery plan for your partner/yourself, what does that look like to you? How much time do you expect your PA to put into recovery each day? Week? Do you spend more or less time on recovery? Are your partners resentful about spending that time? What does the ideal look like vs the reality? Do you feel they find it as important as you?
A little backstory: My partner and I have lived together for a year. It's been a rough one due to some issues(admitted by him) on his side, we are both working to get through it, although I seem to be putting more time and effort into it. We both have full time jobs, no children, but pets to care for half of which were mine and half were his when we joined households. He works overtime some weeks and has school 2 nights a week and gym 3 nights a week, I do 100% of the cooking and pet care and we share cleaning 80-20. I am ok with that most if the time, however something he does is really making me feel like I'm just the maid or butler. Multiple times a day he will ask me to do small tasks th
Is anybody else having a HUGE issue with the commercials for these RayBan camera glasses I'm seeing every freaking where? We ALL know what guys are REALLY going to use these for. Now they can record every moment at the beach, oops! dropped my glasses near your skirt videos, glances at cleavage become literal forever memories. When is enough going to be enough? Wondering about guys wearing sunglasses now? Wait until these are common place. If your guy buys these....I would have SERIOUS questions