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I was seeing a new doctor, and in the course of taking my routine medical history he asked about my alcohol consumption. When I told him "3 to 5 drinks a day, 3 to 5 days a week," he said, "Do you need help reducing that amount?"

I knew that I was drinking too much, and had experimented with moderation with some small periods of abstinence for a full couple of years prior to this appointment. However, I had never made the commitment that zero alcohol, for life, was the right amount of alcohol for me. His simple, frank response was the final eye opener. I said to him, "I think you saying that is all the help I need."

After that appointment, with help from Allen Carr's book and you beautiful

I was cleaning files off an old computer today and found one that I could tell just by the filename had URLs to porn clips in it. I've been doing decent with cravings/urges but seeing this filename made them flood in. The chatter in my head was overwhelming. I wanted to open that file and go to those links SO BAD, like 0 to 100mph in one second, out of nowhere. I convinced myself that I could NOT open that file, because if I opened it I would view the porn, and if I viewed the porn I would masturbate.

Having conquered that thought, another voice very loudly protested that I should keep the file because I might want it someday. I mean, these must have been special if I saved the links

I sometimes go to big league sporting events in a city a few hours away. The old pattern was to sneak some booze onto the train to do some pre-drinking, drink throughout the event, then sober up on the train ride back. A few days ago I took the trip, and was sober throughout for the first time.

I want to celebrate this success: all the memories are sharp instead of fuzzy, I successfully met this challenge head-on, my drinking friends were totally cool and didn't pressure me at all. But where my mind keeps going is to be ashamed of how I used to act.

A small specific example: at most sporting events they'll stop selling alcohol at some point before the game ends. When that point passed