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Hello reddit!

I'm a musician with a performance tomorrow night, unfortunately one of the soloists for a show tomorrow night had to drop out. I, jokingly, suggested that I could read some homoerotic haikus. Much to my horror this was added to the bill...

I'm suffering writers block.

I NEED YOUR HELP

The best will be read in front of an audience tomorrow evening in Toronto (so long as I have your permission)

Help a brotha out!

EDIT You're all wonderfully talented folks.