faerycloud

I know that I’m just adding onto the pile of whinges on this sub, but I have never once been so appalled by how an event was held or run. Classic Audiology, trying to kill their crowd by overpacking the absolute living shit out of The Assembly (which shouldn’t even be a venue for gigs that large in the first place considering it’s larger than Hide and only has not one, not two, not three, but FOUR women’s bathroom stalls).

Audiology makes literal boatloads of cash, far, far more than enough to not have to oversell their tickets beyond venue capacity, and the fact that this is a consistent thing for them to do with their events and nothing has changed just goes to show that profit will al

A friend of mine has just left a DV relationship, definitely needs to get referred to ACC sensitive claims from a GP, anywhere accepting??? TIA

nothing hurts more than someone who only ever wanted to try to hurt you like this. disposable heart. disposable, fucking heart. i feel like all i ever was, was just a game- someone to ruin for fun. i feel like the world has played a cruel joke onto me, i feel like… i feel like a fool. i feel like the only reason i’m alive is to get hurt, over and over again, for the grins and smiles of those around me- to be stepped on to raise their own egos. i feel like i’m trash. fucking trash. i feel like i should die. i should. nothing really is stopping me. nothing really there to fucking live for when the only person i love treats me like sport to hunt and kill. to destroy. i feel like a game. i want

being with you or without you it all just fucking hurts

you’ll only ever tell me if you feel like ripping into me. why would i ask when the only times you’ll tell are just to hurt me right back? asking turned itself redundant long ago. asking only ever meant asking to be hurt.

shit friend. holding the threat of cutting contact over my head so i stay in a conversation i said i couldn’t stay in. unsafe. unsafe people. why do i just surround myself with manipulative pieces of shit? why do i then go on to miss them? this fucking hurts.

it’s such a gradual process, and i don’t know where it began. one moment i was so overwhelmed by my own life and issues that anyone else’s issues would just send me into a mental breakdown, and now… i don’t know. it’s not like i’m a basket you can throw anything into, hell, my basket is still pretty full, but it’s not overflowing anymore to the point that i drop it. i can take a few extra things that aren’t mine. but not too many. or else my basket gets too heavy. balance.

i hold an awful lot of sorrow deep within me

i don’t have the words anymore

i wish i would stop wishing for eternal sleep

which is silly because i control my thoughts

it’s nice. if it didn’t hurt to talk about i would. it’s nice that he’s trying but i feel guilty for not being able to say a word. went out tonight. wine drunk. sat there sad for a lot of it.

life, comes and goes

like, saturday night

daffodils die

everything decomposes

feats and moments

that we will never relive

let it be

eventually everything decomposes

even roses

it was very real at the time

7am. day 3 off birth control. i have to go to the optometrist. fuck the fucking optometrist

i’m sort of scared to sleep because the last time i tried my thoughts lead me to here because they were screaming so loud in my head that i couldn’t get them to stop

they haven’t stopped but they’re just quieter

2 valium 9 hours apart and neither of them put me anywhere near sleep. fuck my fucking life. i’d chalk up the suicidal ideation to the drugs if it wasn’t already swimming around in my head before which is why i fucking asked for the last of my pills anyway. and what did they do? fucking nothing. shit fuck-all. waste of valium. it truly is a marvel to be in a situation where benzos don’t work again, the last time i took benzos and they didn’t work i was in the most life threatening

whatever happens is whatever