hellokolob

I (19F) am on my third month of Junel, currently in my last week of active pills before my placebo week. The first month on the pill, my withdrawal bleed came as scheduled during the placebo week. During the second month, I started spotting/bleeding during my 3rd week of active pills and continued bleeding during my placebo week. I started bleeding again yesterday and now it’s continuing.

Is this normal? I know breakthrough bleeding is common during the first 3 months of starting the pill, but the fact that it’s the same pattern of bleeding 2 months in a row makes me think something could be wrong? Like does this mean the pills aren’t working properly? I haven’t missed any pills and I’ve t

I (18F) spoke in stake conference this morning. I’m still trying to work through all of the emotions I’m feeling.

It was the strangest experience. When I was giving my talk, I almost felt like I still believed what I was saying. It was like remembering what it felt like to believe, and it almost felt good. Sometimes I feel like things would be easier if I still believed. Maybe I would be happier. Who knows.

I’ve been so excited for over two years to get to the point where I can finally leave. But now that that time is actually approaching I’m starting to get scared? I’ve carefully constructed this delicate lie about who I am, and I don’t know how to tear it down. I still want to leave, b

Had a happy realization while I was suffering through the afternoon session today: today was the last day of general conference I will ever have to watch!! This fall I will be at college and living away from home, so I won’t have to watch it.

I can’t believe that I’m so close to being done. This is the most surreal feeling, and it feels so so good.

Conference can be a rough weekend for us-good for you for making it through! To all my PIMOs out there (especially teens), hang in there. Someday it will be your last conference too. Stay strong :)

I found out last night that I was accepted into my dream university. I’m not going to say where for privacy reasons, but it’s a top 20 US school. I cried so hard because this feels like an affirmation from the universe that I am on the right path.

It’s so amazing to know that this accomplishment is mine and mine alone. This isn’t a blessing for keeping commandments, paying tithing, or being a faithful Mormon. This is the result of my hard work and sacrifice. This month two years ago, I was depressed and in the middle of my faith crisis. I didn’t feel like my life was worth it. I really wish that my 16 year old self then could see me now.

To anyone struggling right now, know that your lif

First post here...

My faith crisis began at age 15, and I have been mentally out ever since age 16. After a failed attempt at telling my TBM parents I didn’t believe anymore (they found John Dehlin and RFM podcasts on my phone and blew up at me), I decided not to say anything else. I knew that telling them I didn’t believe would only cause tension and make me feel less safe at home. For over two years now I have maintained the false image of a perfect Mormon teen. I teach church lessons, I go to activities when I can, I attend seminary, most of my friends are TBM, etc.

I wanted to make this post because I am terrified of what will happen when I drop the act. My guy friends are starting to