jackieneutron

How to

How to ask you to stop drinking

Let me count the ways

Instinct tells me to lead with a joke

Sidle up next to you in the garden whilst your having a smoke

Ask for a toke

Say “why couldn’t you have got onto something simple eh, like coke?”

You laugh

It gets silent

Nah can’t segue into serious shit from that

If this didn’t matter to me maybe I could

But it does, and I know I’ll struggle to get the words out

—

How to ask you to stop drinking

Soften you by going back a ways

Ask if you remember ‘those days’ whenever those days were

Back before all this even started

When the seeds of now were sewn

Before we packed up the family home and in separate ways we parted

Something

Infodump on me

Shoot me in the head with a message

Burn the soles of my feet with your facts

And drip hot fresh knowledge on my nipples

Whip me with the power cord of your Macbook

And force me to get a good nights sleep

induced by 2 hours of historical reading

—

Make me wear rubber pants to a seminar

I squeak as I ask my question

—

Subscribe me, prime me, coach me

Hard and all night long

...before an exam

Cram me so full of facts that I forget who I am

—

Wisen me so fast that people I haven’t seen

for a while will asked me if I’m ‘doing ok’

Impart things straight onto me and into my

mind, I can take a a whole syllabus

—

Knowledge is power and I want it

I’m hard for

Life with the plug

My phone lights up

“Grey Audi”

It was parked on the corner under a streetlight, bonnet shimmering in the spring day

I recognised her from my imagination

She’s cute

She wound down the window and a smile poked out, then a hand

I shook it, soft and small like a domestic rat

Sweet sickly Mary Jane leaked out the vehicle

“Here you go” she said and handed me a bag

Her voice was soft and high, squeezed from between puckered pink lips larger than normal

A dainty nose springing from peachy complexion and framed by dark, straight hair that was thick enough for me to look twice

I stuck my head in the window

—

Looking about our surroundings I reached into my back pock