u/kefex
The waiter says, "My name is Gespacho."
The man says, "Oh sorry, hi there, Gespacho, my soup is cold."
Gespacho the Waiter says, "Oh, I'm sorry sir, let me take that back to the kitchen and have them warm it up for you."
The cook warms the soup until it achieves a temperature high enough for a self-sustaining fusion reaction. He wins the Nobel Prize.
I've been reading up on the lime cycle. Slaked lime, or calcium hydroxide as I guess it is known round these parts, will absorb atmospheric CO2 and turn into calcium carbonate. From what I've seen, it's a rather boring (though super useful!) chalky, plaster-like stuff, used in mortar and plaster. Is there anyway to persuade it to crystallize in a mold? One of the crystalline form of CaCO3 is argonite, and it is very beautiful. I'm curious to know if it is possible to form argonite, or one of the other two crystalline forms of CaCO3 into a mold. Any thoughts? Short of solutions, where else might I go to learn about the possibilities? My level of chemistry knowledge is slight (though I
The story is mostly about their journey and the hardships they experience before finally reaching the modern technological society.
Joke: Finding half a worm in your apple.
Antijoke: The holocaust.
Antiantijoke: Finding half a holocaust in your apple.
Antiantiantijoke: 17.
Antiantiantiantijoke: Flern! Schmern!! Glernnnnn!!!!
Antiantiantiantiantijoke: So I says to the guy, I says, I says to 'em, I says -- hey listen to me, this is a good one -- I says, that's what your mom said! Hahahaha, geddit!! So that's what I says to 'em.
Antiantiantiantiantiantijoke: Tapeworm infection; that is, the infestation of the digestive tract by a species of parasitic flatworm known as a cestode.
Antiantiantiantiantiantiantijoke: Please just make the voices stop.
Anti^43 joke: [redacted]
So there was a guy who had allergies, and he would get a runny nose and so forth, and so he would blow his nose on a tissue, but he just kept having allergies for a really long time, and then he finally realized: he was allergic to TISSUES.
Unfortunately, he was MADE of various types of tissue -- skin, muscle, etc.
I google this every now and then, haven't been able to find the magical incantation of keywords that will summon it. The bulk of the story is them gradually deepening and complexifying their new reality, which starts out very vague. The reality is also very fragile, since any doubt threatens its existence.
It made a big impression on me when I read it as a kid, and would love to read it again.
Thebe art end erask swai theel ongfays.
Ilai dabowt thew eels.
Knock knock.
“Who could that be at this hour?” thought Julian.
He decided to ignore it, but the knocking persisted, and finally, cursing softly, he rose from his saline bath, small rivulets of serum coursing down his iridescent green tentacles.
He opened his futuristic space door, revealing a large gleaming metallic orb floating a metre above his welcome mat.
“Uh, hello, can I help…” Before he could finish his sentence, a sharp metal spike shot out of the orb and pierced Julian through his sclernix*.
“What… the… fuck….” Julian sputtered weakly, sinking to the floor. He shuddered once, and died. Purple blood welled from his sclernix, silently filling the grooves between the tiles of the
The bartender says, sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises.
The premise is, like, “Leave the premises…? Oh, I get it, because I’m a premise, so you’re saying leave the premises. Nah, sorry, that’s just lame, and not even really an antiantijoke at all.”
The bartender merely repeats, stone-faced, “Sir, I’m going to ask you again to leave the premises.”
The premise just stares at him for a second, and then says, “Holy shit, you’re serious. Geez, okay, fuck. What a psycho. Fuck you, you racist asshole!” and begins to leave the bar, flipping off the bartender. “Welcome to Trump’s America!” he shouts to the other patrons as he heads for the door.
As he approaches the exi
He's never really been into bars before, but he feels strange new feelings stirring inside himself, and finally admits what he can no longer deny: that he has fallen completely in love with the gay bar.
The gay bar cannot reciprocate his feelings since it only interested in bars, and moreover, only in bars of the same gender.
One day the gay bar walks into another bar, feels strange new feelings stirring inside itself, and finally admits what it can no longer deny: that it has fallen completely in love with the bar, which is not a gay bar, but a regular bar.
The other bar says sorry, but it's just not into gay bars. But it says, I know a really nice guy who is crazy about you -- why don'
says Yoda. Luke Skywalker waits a minute for him to continue, and finally says, "And then...?"
"Yoda" then removes his mask, revealing himself to be the concept of an antiantijoke involving Yoda, which is a very small class of antiantijokes, probably limited to this one.
Luke is understandably confused. But before he can speak the "concept of an antiantijoke involving Yoda" removes its mask, revealing itself to actually be Yoda.
In that moment, Luke Skywalker becomes enlightened. He opens a surf shop on Alderaan and spends the rest of his days waxing surf boards, getting baked, and banging beach babes, which is a pretty awesome life, actually. Except it couldn't have happened because
The duck says, "Well, if it had ended there, this wouldn't have been a joke at all, but an antijoke. But this is neither a joke nor an antijoke. In fact, I'm pleased to inform you that this is an antiantijoke, and it is currently appearing on the popular website reddit.com!"
The rabbi said, "To add to my colleague's remarks, you should expect something more or less random, but with a consistent internal logic, to unfold at this point. Alternatively, this antiantijoke may end abruptly with a statement containing a simple word in italics, suggesting that the humour lies in an unconventional interpretation of the italicized word. So brace yours
