melodic_motion

Do you find caffeine makes your cramps worse? I’ve always had to avoid caffeine on the first 2 days of my period because it seriously intensifies the cramps. I recently while trying to find a medication also noticed that coffee also made the overstimulation worse and switched to decaf pretty much all the time. Tried most available stimulants and even at low doses, taking them more than 2 days in a row caused overstimulation.

Today on the first day of my period, I wondered if there was a link between sensitivity to stimulants and caffeine intensifying menstrual cramps.

I don’t know what it is, but their music just is really enjoyable right now to me. I’m sure it’s a hyperfixation right now, but there’s something specific about their music.

I was reading that Ryan, the drummer, has synesthesia (two senses are connected really strongly, like seeing specific colors or visuals when hearing music or hearing music when you look at art). Maybe it’s the flow combined with the lyrics.

I figure y’all also have things like this where you can’t seem to pinpoint why you’re inexplicably drawn to something.

We recently decided to hold a boundary for my husband’s family: get vaccinated or commit to wearing masks in public.

They’re insane Trumpers, and my SO and I are not about it. I love my MIL to pieces. I saw her as more of a mother figure than my own mom. I can handle not having the same political opinions. What I cannot handle is what she did today via text:

MIL to SO: I need to see the grandkids SO: Are you vaccinated? … No response. Three minutes later:

MIL to me: I need to see the grandkids.

I didn’t respond since SO and I were in the same room. He takes charge on issues with his family, though we are united on all issues. He sent her a response about there being no pediatric ICU be

I do notice that sometimes they taste sweeter than usual, but I’m not sure if that’s something else related to the body’s chemistry or if it’s inconsistency in the drinks.

I started Wellbutrin this weekend for depression and ADHD. I felt pretty good for a few days but now I’m anxious and having mood swings. I’ve talked to my doctor and we’re gonna try for a few more days, and if I can’t tolerate it, I’ll let her know I need to stop.

What I want to know is if you’ve taken Wellbutrin and had side effects, did it ever level out? I don’t know if this is the kind of thing I could just push through, or if these are the side effects I’m gonna have, and won’t change no matter how long I’m on it.

And she said she had a lot of brain fog. “I couldn’t multitask at all. Usually I can read a book and listen to a conversation at the same time. But I couldn’t even work on scheduling my employees’ shifts while listening to a conference call. I’d look up from the schedule and realize I had no idea what they were talking about.”

I just stared at her for a second and said I’ve never been able to do that ever. She understands my adhd, so we could joke about it, but stuff like that really reminds me to stop letting myself believe I’m just using adhd as an excuse to be lazy.

EDIT: It seems we all have different ideas of what “multitasking” means. I have no issues with my neighbor’s experience,

We’ve watched “Soul” several times now with the kids and something struck me this morning. The Zone and being a Lost Soul are good examples of the good and bad of hyperfocus. On a good day, it’s enjoyable to get lost in what you’re doing. On a bad day, it’s overwhelming and you feel like a zombie or a monster.

I was struggling with getting OUT of hyperfocus yesterday and tried over and over to explain what I was feeling to my husband and then I used that analogy. It made more sense to him than any of the other explanations.

I drove up to my sister’s last night. The nurse told us to come this morning. Our brother was an hour away and we kept telling mom “Kyle is on his way, he wants to tell you he loves you.” We stayed in her room for an hour waiting.

He arrived, came in and talked to her, and literally 5 minutes after he got there she just let go.

This was the first time the three of us were all in the same room with our mom since Thanksgiving 2013. We all have different dads who have all died (mine died last year) and our brother said afterward, “we’re all orphans now.”

Cancer fucking sucks.

We learned my mom has stage IVb non-small cell metastatic lung cancer. The oncologist never in any appointment explained the stage, her prognosis or what the goal of treatment is. He just said “let’s get started with chemo.” We just found those details in the mountain of papers today. So my sister who lives with her and has been taking care of her has been so frustrated about our mom’s apparent lack of will to try to get better. If our oncologist had actually explained that she’s not going to get better and that treatment is just so we all have more time to prepare for her death, I think we all would have been kinder and more empathetic. We had no idea until today that the goal right now is