r/LONESTAR

1.6K archived posts · Feb 2014 – Aug 2026

LONESTAR

r/LONESTAR

A SATIRICAL (EXCEPT WHEN IT AIN'T) SUBREDDIT TO CELEBRATE THE EXTRA FREEDOM AND PATRIOTISM WE ENJOY AS TEXANS. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT GIT BACK TO CALIFORNIA!!!!

Created Feb 18, 2014

9.2KMembers (last snapshot)

1.6KArchived posts

A satirical (except when it ain't) subreddit to celebrate the extra freedom and patriotism we enjoy as Texans. If you don't like it git back to California.

Rules:

No Commiefornians
No big brother
###TEXAS
Any problem can be solved by 12 gauge and/or duct tape.
Due to the increase in ammo prices there will be no warning shot.
No cheating sooners
Straya: I'm not your mate, partner.
REMEMBER THE ALAMO, but, if you forget, write it down.
No squirrels. Armadillos are the true rodent.
No fancy tea drinkin', book readin', fancy shoe wearing, euro wueros
Who the fuck wants Alaskan, Florida, or New York, shaped corn chips? Nobody! PROOF
ALL HAIL /r/whataburger. The most holy sub on reddit and annual winner of r/lonestar's "best sub" award.
Any man from florida can go back to florida.
Always use r/weekendgunnit to learn about firearm safety
EVERYTHING IS BIGGER IN TEXAS. EVEN OUR RULES
HEB IS THE OFFICIAL STORE OF TEXAS
No YANKEES
Go Cowboys!!
NUMBER 1 IN EBOLA OR GTFO
IF YOU'RE IN OKLAHOMA, GTFO!!! (OF BOTH OUR SUB AND OKLAHOMA)
AS LONG AS JERRY "CALIFORNIAN" JONES IS THE OWNER, THE COWBOYS ARE NOT A LEGITIMATE NFL TEAM.
ANY USER POSTING A PICTURE OF AN UPROOTED BLUEBONNET WILL BE BANNED AND LEGALLY KILLED. NO EXCEPTIONS, SECOND TRIES, OR TAKE BACKS.
CALIFORNIA=FLORIDA
WHAT ABOUT THE TEXANS?
The official school of Texas is: The University of Texas (/r/UTAustin/)
SHINER IS THE OFFICIAL BEER OF TEXAS! LONESTAR BEER IS OWNED BY PABST WHICH IS NOT A TEXAS COMPANY!!!
ALL RULE BREAKERS WILL REPORT TO CHUCK NORRIS- TEXAS RANGER FOR A FLOGGING AND A ROUNDHOUSE KICK TO THE MOUTH.
WE LIVE AND DIE BY OUR BARBECUE
UNSPOKEN RULE: IN N OUT IS A COMMIE RESTAURANT
GRILLED MEAT IS NOT BARBEQUED MEAT! THE ONLY BARBEQUED MEAT IS BEEF BRISKET!
BARBECUE OR BARBEQUE IS EQUALLY CORRECT. ANYTHING OUTSIDE TEXAS IS NEITHER.
POP QUIZ: Do we really consider Kansas City to be BBQ capital of the world? (Turn monitor upside down to see the answer): ˙Qqq ┴ON SI 'S∀SN∀ʞ WOɹℲ פNIH┴⅄N∀ '┴I ƎS∩∀ƆƎq 'ON

##/r/Murica: fuck yeah

##/r/WesternWear: Yee haww!

##/r/AustinGuns: Keep patriotism weird

##/r/TEXASENTS: HB2165! HB2165?? HB2165!!!! HB2165... HB2165!?!?! HB2165!!

##/r/TXoutdoors FOR ALL YER OUTDOOR NEEDS

##https://discord.gg/YbZDuJB: Looking for a Discord server? THIS IS THE ONE FOR YOU!!!

#How to make

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Use 5 hashtags for megabomb "#####AAAAH!!"

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