Expectations of me being a dominant man has burnt me out

I'm a guy to start this off with...

Idk why I'm posting here to be honest.. is this a rant? a vent? a cry for help or attention? I don't even know at this point,

I've been with a small share of people, whether that's being in a relationship, hookups, or other things. but EVERYONE I have ever been with wants me to be dominant.

I've gone through a phase recently of looking for hookups, and while they've been great and I've started talking to a few lovely people because of it (weirdly usually born from cases where we've decided not to hook up or pursue anything sexual lol)... I think I'm starting to realise how exhausted being the dominant one has made me.

when I think about being with someone in any capacity my brain is hardwired to act domisntly and I do, but a feeling of burnout is now always there. I've always had a submissive side, especially for women, but I've NEVER been given the chance to be the submissive, and I hate that.

I'm tired of taking control, making the decisions, telling people what I'D do to THEM and how THEY would pleasure ME. I just want to turn my brain off and fall into a loving dominant woman's arms as she praises me, calls me good boy, tells ME what I can do for HER and how I can pleasure HER. I want a relationship where she praises me, calls me good boy, tells ME what I can do for HER and how I can pleasure HER, lets me act cutesy and love her in the submissive way I've honestly always craved, but I'm starting to realise that day might never come for me.. I genuinely don't see a future where I ever get to be anything other than dominant... and that's starting to hurt me.

anyway sorry for the ramble I just.. fuck I needed this to come out SOMEWHERE. and if you make it this far... thanks. genuinely much appreciated