I was so Jealous of Ariana Grande

Back when Ariana was in her Thank u, next era [one of my favs of her] I was extremely jealous of her and she was my role model. I wasn't like a die hard weird fan, I just really admired her... I wanted to be like her SO BAD, I wanted to be as good as a singer, I wanted to be funny like her, be fashionable... I was a teen and just was lost and didn't have friends so my escape was Ariana, She has the charm of being herself and being goofy and knowning t have fun but also professional... I'm an adult now and have gotten over it but I still catch myself yearning to have a life like hers.. [sorry if this sounds REALLY cringey just wanted to express my thoughts]