Don't know why it means so much

"Outside" by Hollywood undead has always been a very personal, emotional song that I connect with on such a level I physically and emotionally feel the pain of every note and every word said. I can tell you every lyric, every beat, every bass hit.... But the thing I can't tell you is why this song means so much to me.

Music has always been a critical part of my life. It's therapy. It helps me focus when there's too much going on. It helps let anger out so I don't let it out in other ways. It takes us where words alone can not. Music is on such a level with me, I can play songs for you and show you the goosebumps and the hair raise on my arm as I feel the in my veins like the beat of my own heart, like I wrote it myself.... You get the idea.

I digress, sorry. My point of all that is I can tell you why every one of those songs means what it does to me and when I first heard it. Every... single...song... Except "outside".

When I hear it, the way I envision it if you will, is like 2 sides of the same person, 2 personalities, 2 mentalities, whatever you wanna call it. It's like hearing both sides and how they see life, what they feel.

There's the one side that's been broken, given up, lost hope.... Then there's the side that doesn't give and F anymore, no remorse or care for anything because they once gave too much of a fuck.

Idk why I'm sharing this honestly. I randomly saw the community in a search I did. And here I am.