AITA for telling my husband I would leave him if he helped his mom financially even though we have the means to do so?

My husband and I met 7yrs ago. Both of our families live in different states so I didn’t meet she mom right away. The first time I met her she came to visit and I was newly pregnant. She offered to throw us a baby shower if we made the 17hr trip to her place. We agreed and 4 months later it’s baby shower time. We get into town the day before the party and she starts asking me for 350 for a dj and a clown. I’m thinking to myself I’m already looking at the clown but let me get with your son. I informed husband I already paid for the rental cars and I can’t foot another 350 right now. I’m sure he paid to keep his mom happy. It’s her first grandkid and she’s from a different culture from me so I tried to let it go.

Next trip she says she would like to get family pictures done while we are all in town and she would like it if we all match. I agreed and went all went shopping and I bought my family all matching outfits. We go home change and as we are walking out the door she looks at her phone and says, “she just text me and it’s gonna be 200 for the pictures” can you guys split it. This very much irritated me because I just spent hundreds for clothes with you watching me spend it. He also paid for that because I wasn’t splitting anything unless she’s splitting the cost of these clothes I just bought.

Next trip we took his car to the shop to have something done. His mom set the appointment but I went with his sister to pick up the car and I physically swiped his credit card. She then said they charged her for 75 dollars for whatever reason. Now I feel some type of way about his mom and I’m trying to be nice about how I say it because it’s his mom. Every time I say something he tells me I have the wrong impression of his mom but I think it’s him that has the wrong impression.

After this I don’t see her too much but in 22’ she says she needs him to go to her country with her. It’s a short notice trip and he wasn’t in the best position. Hadn’t been at his job long, had no vacation time, and little savings. I think his mom helped some but it wasn’t a free trip by any means. We have 2 toddlers together and just getting started in life so it’s frustrating she doesn’t take that into consideration before asking for money.

That leads me to this year. He missed his mom so I decided to do something special and I invited his mom on our family vacation. Instead of being happy, she invited her guy friend to join in the vacation, in the villa I rented for all of us. When I was told she did that I explained there wasn’t another bed and they would have to share. She was livid. After my husband got off the phone I told him she’s ungrateful and I find it sickening that she’s mad that I’m not footing the bill for another bed on her free vacation.

The trip happened and on top of her friend, she also invited his sister and her new boyfriend and their kids. They got their own hotel luckily. The vacation ended with the sister being mad at us bc she was an hour late and we didn’t want to wait with 2 toddlers so we asked her to met us were we were and gave detail instructions bc there wasn’t phone service. We also left with a plan for another trip to her country because MIL is opening a business there and wants my husband to understand everything.

We get home and have 3 months to get my passport fixed and pay for plane tickets. We get to her country and find out the business she’s been telling us is a bar is actually a brothel. She goes over the business plan and she’s taking 60% living in the states and has her cousin making 40% doing all the work. I went over this with my husband and we talked to her about it and got excuses I didn’t love but they told me it was because I didn’t understand what she meant because her English isn’t the best.

Now here we are 2 months back in the states and she is telling us that she didn’t realize there was neighbors around the property (her dad owns most the land around her live and has for the last 50yrs) but they are forcing her to build a 10,000 privacy fence and she can’t afford it and wants my husband to help with the money.

Here is my issue, she owns a house in her state that she is currently remodeling, she also has a Airbnb in another state that’s currently in its off season, along with her 5 acres and business that’s almost ready to in another country. She does make money if the crops on the 5 acres currently just not the business. My husband and I are in our late 20’s/30’s finally have the money as a down payment for our first house together and just got completely out of debt. We can help her but why? From my view point she’s in a better financial situation than us. AITA for telling my husband I would leave him if he helped his mom and I want to get our future secured for our child not his mother?