Reconnect physically with INTP

My boyfriend’s very sweet and I love him, but our sex life has been on pause for years. He’s inexperienced and used to finish quickly, which might’ve made him feel insecure—though I may have unintentionally added to that. Lately, he says weight gain and ED are part of the issue, but things stopped before that. I want to reconnect physically—any ideas on how to gently encourage him to be more hands-on and build confidence?

I’ve tried talking to him, but he gets really stuck on the idea that once he loses weight, everything will magically improve.