There’s nothing quite like a full English breakfast. For centuries, this dish has granted all the strength needed for a tiring day of hunting wild game, corralling your serfs, and dying at 40 from tuberculosis. Not only that, it heavily subsidizes the cured pork industry and it provides job security for cardiac doctors everywhere.

I’ve never had a full English in its traditional incarnation, but I’ll be going to England this August, so I gotta prepare myself for their cuisine in advance. On that note, I’ll not stand for any more of this ‘British food is terrible’ slander. It’s become nothing more than a knee-jerk soundbite from people who have never actually set foot on the island and tried the local cuisine. If you think all British food is categorically bad, I will not hesitate to cast the terrifying forbidden Gen Z dark magic hex upon you: ***Educate Yourself****.*

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I’ve tried to make everything as accurately as I can, though there are some notable differences between my final product and a proper full English. The biggest one is that black pudding is nearly impossible to come by, so I omitted that entirely. Given that it’s the part of the dish which is more divisive than any other subject of modern politics, I felt okay with leaving it out.

Some parts of this dish translated really well. The cherry tomatoes here are lovely and flavourful, maitake mushrooms are delicious when sautéed with butter, and Japanese eggs are in a tier of their own.

Now, unfortunately, Japanese cured pork leaves a bit to be desired. It’s not quite as rich and fatty as English or American bacon, and it doesn’t crisp up as nicely. If I don’t feel guilty eating it then it’s not real bacon.

*Read the rest on the* [*official Ministry Substack*](https://ministryofmealtime.substack.com/)

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How I Made a Full English Breakfast in Japan