I think there is another possibility. Maybe Dong-mae did not just love the idea of Ae-sin; perhaps he also loved the idea of being in love with her.

There is a difference between loving a person, loving what they represent, and loving the version of yourself that exists because of that love. In Dong-mae's case, the third possibility is often overlooked. Ae-sin gave meaning to his suffering. He grew up in a world that treated him as worthless, and much of his life was shaped by violence, rejection, and survival. Then there was Ae-sin, a symbol of kindness, hope, and everything he believed he could never have.

Over time, his feelings for her became part of his identity. Loving her transformed him from a man simply trying to survive into a tragic romantic figure. It gave shape and purpose to his story. That is why I sometimes wonder whether he became attached not only to Ae-sin herself, but also to the longing. The yearning, the distance, and the impossibility of it all became meaningful in their own right.

What stands out to me is that Dong-mae rarely seems to imagine a real future with Ae-sin. He admires her, protects her, and longs for her, but he does not appear interested in the ordinary realities of building a life together. By contrast, his relationship with Kudo Hina feels much more grounded. She understands him, challenges him, and sees him clearly, flaws and all.

Perhaps that is why Hina feels more like love. Ae-sin was the dream, but Hina was the person. Loving Ae-sin allowed Dong-mae to be a romantic hero. Loving Hina would have required something much harder: allowing himself to be truly known.

Mr. Sunshine - who was gu dong mae actually in love with?????