Hah! Didn't know this was a subreddit!

So, around 4am this morning, I had a terrible dream! My entire bed was soaked in blood, from my pillows to my sheets, but I thought hey, spooky season, that'll happen.

So I went back to bed.

About 4:45, or so, I got up because my cat was whining at the door for food. I got up as I usually do at this time, dutifully pet my adorable furry alarm clock, and then turned the light on to get dressed.

It looked like a fucking murder scene.

To clarify, I'm an adult male with a very large beard. I was midst putting pants on when I stopped dead and went...did I uh...did I kill someone last night? That's a lot of blood ...

Nope. Definitely didn't. I double checked my closet, under my bed, everywhere, no corpses. Thank God.

When I got to the bathroom I noticed half my beard and moustache were red, and that's when it clicked. I had a nosebleed overnight.

I'm pretty sure overnight I bled out about a quarter of a persons body weight. I guess this will lower my liquor bill, if nothing else? Spooky season is the worst time to get nosebleeds