Am I being unfair for blaming my mom about our financial situation?

I’m an OFW and have been working abroad for 6 years. My mom is a local nurse earning about 18k PHP/month. Every month, I send 10k for household food plus 7k for my wheelchair-bound grandmother’s medications.

Here’s the problem: For 6 years, the 10k I send for food hasn’t been used for that purpose. My dad even told me my mom doesn’t give him money for food when she’s away working. Meanwhile, my mom says she’s using her own money to help my grandparents—but then where’s the 10k for food going? I’ve been asking this for years but never get a straight answer.

Some background: • My grandparents actually have a lodging house and a car repair shop but are buried in debt with no savings. • My grandfather borrowed from GSIS and has no pension. • My grandmother’s lifestyle (obese, inactive, never cooked or cleaned) contributed to her many health issues. Her meds alone cost about 10k/month. • Despite their financial mess, they still have two maids at home. My grandfather also spends money on unproductive crops, unnecessary renovations, or “gold digging” schemes. When he can’t pay his workers, he borrows more money. • My grandma can still stand but refuses to use the commode to save on diapers. She says things like “I wish I’d die already,” which is emotionally draining.

Growing up, my mom always bailed out her parents and siblings. I’ve told her that if she hadn’t done that, maybe they would’ve learned to save or adjust, and we wouldn’t be in this situation now.

My mom has siblings, and I even have cousins abroad, but the financial burden of my grandparents falls entirely on us. Now the cycle continues: I help my mom ➡️ she helps her parents ➡️ nothing gets allocated properly, even when I send extra money.

My mom is almost 60 and already has her own medical issues. I’m 33, single, no kids, and I feel like I haven’t even started my life yet because I’m stuck in this endless financial support loop.

I feel frustrated and resentful. I blame my mom for enabling this situation—but am I being unfair?