Furst time ruining

So me and my owner are long distance and I made her a list of punishments and humiliations for me so she doesn't have to put in extra effort and can just pull from it (its a great idea I highly recommend). Today i asked her if I could masturbate and she said yes but I had to ruin it and I have never ruined my orgasm before so I was nervous. Anyway these are my thoughts, it was difficult to not just edge or to cum but I had to balance it which took me a couple of tries after I accidentally edged. Next thing is I was still hard which I didn't know was a thing and im still extremely horny but I feel like I am remembering a time when I did finish like im kinda out of breath from moaning, my dick feels confused, and Im a little tired. The feeling was so strange and new like instead of milking it out of myself my cock pushed it out which was more aggressive than I thought it would be, i have a larger penis at 8 inches and it was throbbing so much it was literally going from fully vertical to touching my stomach, and the cum just pooled out like if you had just used a hose and you lift the middle section water comes out but with no pressure. I can understand why people like it and I am so very happy my owner is using the list i made her.