Do I go to my SIL’s baby shower?

I have two SILs - one is my husband’s sister(HS) and one is my husband’s brother’s wife (BW).

My first loss, BW and I were pregnant at the same time (1 week apart) and both had first tri losses within a few weeks of each other.

My second loss, I was 3 weeks behind HS, and BW was about 3 weeks behind me. They’re both still pregnant. About six weeks after my second loss and the same weekend as the due date for my first loss, I got the invite to HS’s baby shower. No heads up or anything, which I get because it is her day and not about me, but I felt really hurt to not even get a “hey, this is coming your way and no pressure to attend” kind of text.

I need to RSVP soon for the shower, and I’m so torn on whether to attend. On one hand, I feel some guilt for not celebrating her, but on the other, I’m still struggling with a lot of grief and being at a party all about her baby and talking about it all afternoon seems almost impossible. I’m also scared that random family members are going to make the comments like “do you have/want kids?” Or “HS and BW are both pregnant, when is it your turn?” kind of thing and I will start crying and ruin the party.

How are y’all dealing with this? Do I try to go or skip the shower?