DIY HRT in EU

I’m a 33 years old nonbinary person looking for some help. I live in Finland and our trans- healthcare is abysmal. I’ve been trying to find somewhere to get T on my own but I can’t find anyone that would ship from Europe. Why am I looking for someone in Europe? It would calm my mind and I am an anxious person. 😅I understand if this sorta post is not okay and will be deleted but I was hoping someone could point me in the right direction on my quest. I’m really getting quite desperate. 😓 I made this Reddit acc just for this but I am planning to stick around too.