I got touched when I was younger and idk why it makes me horny now

Am a 19 year old femboy, this started around 5ish years ago with my programming tutor once he found out I like to crossdress, he would call me a good boy and pet my head or later grope my butt when I did a good job >~< and later on he told me not to wear panties under my skirt so he could easily touch my cock and butt

At one point when we were talking he made me take humiliating photos that idk if he still has the most embarrassing one was where he told me to put a marker in my ass and bend over

Idk why thinking about it makes me horny I know it wrong but i sometimes still touch myself to it