Abandonment and trauma: When is it real?

I [29F] have experienced abandonment in many ways in my life. My father left me and my mother when I was born. My uncle (and the only paternal figure in my life) committed suicide when I was a teenager. My ex-fiancé (and first love) suddenly broke up with me, after many years together. We had a very codependent relationship and it took me a long time to get over him.

I am proud of my past and the hardships I have been through in life. Life is beautiful and I always look into the future, trying to build a new life. However, I noticed that, when people (friends or romantic partners) find out some of these details about my life, they very often pull away. One even told me that I must have a lot of trauma even though I look like a very strong woman.

I don’t open up easily, but at the same time I think it’s good to be vulnerable and honest, especially after some time. However, after so many traumatic experiences, I start to wonder if I DO have fear of abandonment, although I never felt like this — not even after my ex-fiancé broke up with me. Should I hide the truth about my past (e.g., when people ask about my parents)? I am very confused and feel unfairly judged about my past… Is it just me trusting the wrong people?