[meta] A brief update

Today is my friend u/Eves-garden's fifth cake day, which led me to reflect on the past five years and on recent events. First of all, she has helped me with a lot since I first began talking to her. I may seem somewhat down and grim now at times, but I am downright cheerful compared to who I was before; entirely closed off to the part of life that erotic audio and performing and scripting it as a regular person celebrates. Eve helped me turn a corner and I will always be very grateful to her.

I am still trying to write when I find the spark. A few months back I posted that you shouldn't expect much more out of me; I've posted since, but not exactly in volume. I don't seem all that moved anymore, and I have done many variations on relatively few themes, so it's probably natural for this well to not be infinitely deep.

As a person reading this, interested in what I'm writing about, I still care about you. I still think it is my privilege to sometimes reach people with my thoughts and ideas and scenarios and what have you. I try to write for myself when I do, but it's also for anyone else who doesn't quite want to extend kindness and positivity and hope of warmth and intimacy to themselves. I have probably said far too many times already that seeing a script being picked up and read and performed by someone else is a redeeming experience full of empathy; the validation of things I made up for myself as something other people feel too, or at least can relate to. An itch other people want to help you scratch. Of course I write for my own sake, but I am not indifferent to the effect it may have on other people, and I have grown to appreciate it more and more. If you feel wanting of the things I describe, so do I; I empathize with you, and you are in my thoughts.

Last: I am loathe to post things here that aren't scripts I can bring you, because that's what I'd most like to do. But I sometimes feel the need to vent and inform, and when I did so last time I got many comments that I have since left unanswered. When I'd written it I felt really depressed for a long while and didn't want to deal with it, and I didn't want to respond with something until I'd gotten into a good run again. I've seen and read the comments and I deeply appreciate them, and I thank you all for your support, patience and forebearance.

Please be kind to yourselves.