[OC] Star Fox Movie Concept: Commercial Reaction Scene Script Concept Snippet (TRIGGER WARNING)

Some time ago, I worked on the script for this movie concept where Star Fox sees a commercial selling toys using their likeness; some time after Falco had set off the Great Fox's sprinklers. Just a fair warning, I'm not that much of a professional writer, so forgive me if it sounds a little off. This was inspired by the commercial reaction scene from TMNT Chrome Alone 2. Also, the in-universe commercial is supposed to be intentional cringe and feel like it's trying too hard, complete with the overly '90s aesthetic and the "kids and teens" (who'd be live action humans) being played by people in their 20's and 30's.

• [NOTE: Set a few seconds after the video call with Bill]
• Falco: (while setting the comic on fire with a lighter) Well, what are we waiting for then? Let's get to it. (throws the flaming comic into the trash bin)
• KABOOM
• [After the trash bin explodes into a brief miniature mushroom cloud, the Great Fox's fire alarm kicks on, and then the sprinklers activate. We can vaguely hear Slippy and Fay panicking in the hangar complete with a few clutters and crashes from the hangar, as Fox and Peppy slowly give Falco a death glare.]
• Miyu: (offscreen, utterly, yet understandably, pissed) FALCOOOOOOO!!!!
• R.O.B. 64: (like nothing happened) Setting coordinates for Corneria.
• [Hard cuts to the aftermath of the sprinklers incident with the team, still soaking wet after the incident, walking through Corneria will Bill and Fara]
• Bill: Thank you for meeting up with us. Though I wish it could've been under (notices the rest of the team) different circumstances.
• Fox: We've been through worse, Bill. 
• Slippy: Well, at least the Arwing's cockpit is waterproof. But draining them is gonna take some time.
• Fara: Well, wouldn't be a first now, would it? (to Bill) Remember when Falco nearly burned the training room to the ground back at the academy?
• Falco: (sarcastically) Yeah, ha ha ha. Hilarious. Good times.
• Fay: I mean, it could've been worse. At least the fire on the bridge didn't start a chain reaction that could lead into the Great Fox exploding.
• Falco: Well, at least it can't get any- (stops dead in his tracks as he struggles to move forward) What the-? (looks down to see that he stepped in gum) Oh, damn it. (engages in losing war with gum he stepped in, audibly and visibly struggling)
• [the camera pans up to see Katt sitting on top of a light post]
• Katt: (chuckles) Well, well. If it isn't the legendary Star Fox team. In person. (to Miyu, while running her tail under her chin) Love the new look, Miyu. It really suits the mercenary vibe. 
• Miyu: (hisses like a caracal and attempts to claw at Katt)
• Katt: (after casually dodging a claw swipe from Miyu) Though I'm not sure how your "sponsors" are going to react when they see this scene.
• Peppy: (genuinely confused) What sponsors? We didn't sign a deal with anyone, we're technically independent.
• Fay: (notices the TV) Hey, uh....Fox? What-what is that?
• Fox: (notices the TV as well) What?
• [Everyone sees an old school TV in a shop window showing off a commercial for StarWing Galaxy Defenders toys, complete with "the sounds of America"/an eagle screech and a guitar riff. The commercial's explosion transitions the scene from 2.4:1 to '90s style 4:3. We then cut to a figure that vaguely looks like Bowser attacking what one can assume to be Corneria, interlaced with live action stock footage of people running away like they're in a kaiju film.]
• Commercial Narrator: (v.o.) Oh no, Tortuga's attacking the world again! Unjiggy!
• Tortuga Figure: (Super Mario 64 Bowser laugh)
• Fara: (offscreen, about the Bowser looking figure) What the hell even is that thing supposed to be?
• [We then cut to stock footage of people pointing in the sky, interlaced with clips of Fox>! from the Super Mario Galaxy Movie!<, as we then see a hand "flying" the Star Slicer (Arwing).]
• Commercial Narrator: (v.o.) No fear, space! The saviors of the galaxy are here!
• Live Action Human 1 and Live Action Human 2: Sick!
• Live Action Human 3: (doing some '90s pose) No way!
• Live Action Human 4: (doing some '90s pose) Baller!
• Live Action Human 5: (holding an energy drink to the camera) Radical!
• Live Action Human 6: (doing some '90s pose, in the most Valley Girl voice imaginable) Gnarlay!
• Live Action Human 7: (doing some '90s pose with double hand horns, as the camera zooms in and out on his face like the old man in the soda commercial from Spongebob) DOOOOOOOOOPE!
• [We then see four figures that vaguely look like the original four Star Fox members.]
• Commercial Narrator: (v.o.) Introducing "StarWing"! The all new and original Galaxy Defenders!
• Fox: (offscreen) Is that supposed to be us?
• [As the names of each figure is called out, a clip from different Star Fox media covers over them as vertical split screens. >!SIDE NOTE: The Super Mario Galaxy Movie for Fox, Star Fox Adventures for Peppy, Smash Bros. Brawl for Falco, and Star Fox 64 for Slippy!<]
• Live Action Human 3: (v.o.) Reynard!
• Live Action Human 6: (v.o.) Peter!
• Live Action Human 2: (v.o.) Flyboy!
• Live Action Human 4: (v.o., sounding more "And Peggy") And Seawick.
• Peppy: (offscreen) Does my fur color look duller to anyone else?
• Slippy: (offscreen) Why does mine look like it has exotropia?
• Falco: (offscreen) Eh, speak for yourself, techmeiser. I look badass! I think?
• Live Action Human 1: Each figure is made with totally tubular designs.
• Live Action Human 2: And they each come with their authentically real radical catchphrases.
• Peter Figure: Do a barrel roll!
• Seawick Figure: Get this guy off me!
• Flyboy Figure: Personally, I prefer the air.
• Reynard Figure: I only care about three things: Keeping the Lylat System safe, fighting with my buds, and doing extreme! Dangerous! BARREL ROLLS! Let's go!
• [Cuts to Fox, who has probably one of the biggest "WTF" looks on his face as something blows up in the commercial offscreen]
• Fox: (in probably the most "WTF" tone ever) You've gotta be kidding me. Who even wrote those lines?
• [Cuts back to the commercial, with the figures "fighting" what one can assume are legally distinct Koopa Troopas and '93 Mario movie Goombas, complete with footage of old martials movies, gameplay footage from "Super Smash Bros"., and "Future Cops" acting as backdrops]
• Commercial Narrator: (v.o.) Now, you can fight evil and liberate the galaxy! Complete with using their signature ass-whooping moves!
• Live Action Human 7: (with Lumos "Fox" figure) Fireball! Fireball! Uppercut!
• Live Action Human 5: (offscreen, throwing Lumos "Slippy" and "Peppy" figures at Koopas) Living cannonball!
• Live Action Human 6: (with Lumos "Falco" figure) Somersault kick! Spinning tornado kick!
• Bill: (offscreen) Well, that's the worst fighting technique I've ever seen.
• Falco: (offscreen) Yeah, what do they think we are? Some sort of street fighters?
• Katt: (offscreen) I consider myself one.
• Fara: (offscreen) Katt, you're not helping.
• Katt: (offscreen) Good.
• [Cuts to the group who continue to watch the commercial in bewilderment and slight offense, complete with Falco still struggling with that gum in the background]
• Fay: Surely this can't be a coincidence, right, Fox?
• Fox: Well, it'd be a rather convincing one, if any.
• Slippy: And if someone is making money off of this, it should be us.
• Falco: (still struggling with that gum) Hey, while we're gawkin' at the screen, can someone help me get unstuck?
• [Cuts back to the commercial, showing off the StarWing vehicles]