The world is suck

Hello, stranger, can I have a word with you? I grew up in a terrible family. My father was a gambler and an alcoholic. When he was drunk, he would always beat my mother and me. I argued with him many times to protect him, but he would always tell me, "He's your father, you can't talk back to him like that." It's ridiculous, right? All my efforts were a joke. In other people's eyes, I was just an unfilial child. My teacher told my classmates about my family situation, and I was bullied in the bathroom after class. They threw my textbooks into the water and stuck things on my head. I was only in elementary school then. I went to my parents, but they said it was just a joke. The teachers did the same.And then what? They didn't punish me at all, but instead they scolded me, the one with good grades? After four years of bullying, I completely gave up on myself. My parents didn't care about me either, but they always said, "Why can't you get over this?", "How can you get over this?", "You've never helped me," "I'm your mother!" They didn't even take me to see a doctor before I went to high school. Because of my illness, I was ostracized and isolated. The situation got worse in high school. I tried to be a normal person, but I was laughed at everywhere I went, as if I was born unsuitable (unworthy) to live in this society. My illness, my pain, nobody understands. Strangers just make sarcastic remarks.Don't I want to be like a normal person? This isn't my choice, but I'm always treated this way. In kindergarten, whenever a teacher disliked me, he would lock me in the bathroom or slap me, simply because he felt I didn't respect him, just because I didn't talk to him much. I was angry, but what could I do? It's all bad... My friend abandoned me after two years of friendship just because someone else disliked me. I was spread rumors and my words were taken out of context. I'm so tired. I don't think I'm inherently inferior. I keep learning new skills, but it doesn't change anything. I know there are many people in this world worse off than me.But if I had another chance, I would never have been born. Social anxiety coupled with drivel, plus some physical defects, I'm incredibly lucky to be alive. This world is rotten; it's so indifferent to me, yet it expects me to become a pillar of society.