My in-laws hate me and my husband denies it.

My husband and I have been together since we were young around 20 years. I am Mexican and my husband is white. My husband's parents didn't approve of me. To be fair I was a bit of a mess. My mother was abusive and I was her scapegoat. I barely made it out. I was suffering from clinical depression, agoraphobia, social anxiety, PTSD, and PCOS. His parents moved him away and yet we still kept in contact. After a while we wanted to move in together. My husband fought with his parents and then asked him to wait a year. We did. We moved in together and his family was polite but still cold. I was invited and then uninvited to my brother-in-law's and sister-in-law's wedding because according to my sister-in-law my mother-in-law said no. It was hard but he proposed and I said yes. His mom gave me a hard time for not having my mother at the wedding. She didn't believe that my mother was abusive. It wasn't until my husband said she would bring drama that she dropped it. I was having a hard time not having anyone there for me. I didn't have any money so his mom paid and chose everything except my dress. I was only excited about the cake. There was a topper I wanted the Baker to make and she said she could do it within budget, my mother-in-law changed it and lost part of the new topper and put flowers instead. I was sad but made the best of things. I was so excited to marry my husband but not this way. His mom and I got into a fight because she thought I should be more excited and got in my face said that if I didn't want to marry her son in the right way that I should let him go find someone who would. This was two weeks before our wedding. His aunt made an amazing offer to let us have the reception at her house like my brother and sister in law had. His mother said that unless I could pay for parking we would not have it there. I had no money so she picked a bar served beer, wine, and fajitas. I found this tacky and offensive but I was not paying so I kept my mouth shut. That day my sister in law stole my bridesmaids (I only had two) and flat ironed my hair straight while wet. I couldn't fix it because his mom was yelling at me that she was going to have to pay more if I was late. All in all I regret my wedding but was happy to marry my husband. I was dealing with issues after we got married. I was seeing a specialist. His mom didn't think he needed to go so I had to go alone. I was told I would never be able to have a baby. One day we found our a miracle happened. We were pregnant. We were at a rare holiday family game night and my husbands dad who I was very fond of said he had lit a candle at church for my husband and I to have a baby when we were ready. My husband's mom said, "How could you?!" and his sister in law said, "Goes to show be careful what you pray for!" I never had a baby shower. My father-in-law had his brothers over and so we went for dinner. I had been looking for a job but being that my pregnancy was high risk I was not getting any calls back. She picked that night to ask me why I hadn't found a job yet after I came to tell her I cleaned up the kitchen a bit. I said I had been looking but not getting calls back but that I wasn't giving up. She shamed me and said don't you want to work? I said of course, I had been working since I was 16. I started to cry because I was pregnant and embarrassed. I said I had to go and she said I think you'd better. I got in the car and threw up and had to go to the er for bleeding. I wrote his mom a letter close to the end of my pregnancy trying to address the issues that were bothering me. She called me a liar. I went on a job interview even though my doctor advised against it because my pregnancy was delicate but she made me feel so worthless I went. I gave birth early at 31 weeks. Andy was not sleeping well and we would later find out he had severe sleep apnea. I had talked to her about it and she said he was fine. I was taking care of our baby who spent a month and 20 days in the NICU. A husband that was falling asleep while driving and no help. We stayed away from his parents for a while. Slowly we were trying again and his dad passed. His mom blamed me and so did my husband's brother. Shortly after his brother and I had an argument and his brother called me a wetback. I stayed home with our preemie baby for three years. We worked with early childhood intervention until she was ready to transition to early preschool. I went back to work part time and we made it work. Found out my husband had bad sleep apnea and almost died. Things were okay but it was odd. I would get a hard time for not working. But my baby needed help. She needed to be worked with so she didn't fall too behind developmentally. At 3 we also got a double diagnosis of Autism and ADHD. Things happened and my husband lost his job and my daughter had online school. I had a full time job but I am high risk because of my PCOS (a metabolic disease). My husband was having a hard time being her learning coach so we switched places. I realized how behind my daughter was because of bullying issues and we set to work catching up. Flash cards and other things. Now she makes straight A's and is one of the kids that flourished. Still my husband gets told that he is doing it all alone and life is so hard for him. I want to divorce him and get away. I get made to feel odd for warming up a tortilla because his family eats them cold. Am I right, do they hate me?

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