Why Do I wanna snuggle, cuddle and drink from a milk bottle?

Your all gonna think I'm thinking of weird shit nope I'm not. I mean I think its healing or therapeutic for me. I dont mean it in any fucking weird way or anything. I mean I wanna be held, rocked, hummed and drink from a bottle? Why does my body crave this shit? I mean in a safe platonic way. I want closeness I want cuddles I want to sleep peacefully in someones arms? I would never tell this to anyone they'd think I meant something else or weird, I'm not. I'm just not healed..... I know I'm a fucking bitch ass grown adult, but I feel like my needs weren't met when I were younger so then whyd I crave this??? I'm trying to force my brain to forget about it as it's Unsual for me to think this way and wrong to do so. Sometimes I wanna hurt myself for thinking this way cause its stupid maybe. I dont know... I'm not sure what to do.... fucking ass so tired I want comfort or something I fucking don't know