I don’t know if i actually have no real friends or if my view of what a friendship is is wrong

I’ve felt lonely for years, I go out alone, eat in restaurants alone, go to the movies even museums alone… I’m just a loner and it’s not by choice. I can spend days without receiving a single notification on my phone. I speak to nobody most of the time. I have people that I care about that I like spending time with, but when i actually need to talk I always second guess if I can actually talk about those things with the people I call my friends. Maybe I’m the one in the wrong and it’s not because you don’t talk for a week that you’re not friends, but I’m really lonely.

I don’t know if I’m just too much, if I’m asking for too much attention from the people I consider my friends. Or I’m actually not that important to them and they have other people they talk to everyday, and I’m just somebody to everyone. No one special, not someone you go to, to hang out with unless I ask first.

What made me realize this is just the fact that my phone is always dry 😂. Even if I put myself on do not disturb I wouldn’t miss a single notification. I’m really lost am I asking for too much or am I truly just lonely here ?

Just this week I’ve seen like 3 movies alone, and I feel like that’s why I talk too much and overshare when I meet someone even though I’m reeeeally shy.