How do I reconcile my love for my "great" single mother with the fact that she let my uncle haunt me for years?
I want to warn you in advance that I speak and write English very poorly, so I apologize for any mistakes in the text.
I'm pretty old now and I almost don't hold grudges against my family, but sometimes I still have moments when I start to remember all the pain I once felt because of them. When I was about 9-10 years old, I had an uncle with whom we grew up together due to a slight age difference of 4 years. He's my mom's youngest brother. And so there was a great-uncle who also spent a lot of time with us. We were often left alone at home, and on one of those days they called me to the barn, where our sheep and goats were kept at that time. That was the first time I realized what violence is and how terrible men can be. After it happened, I was incredibly scared to tell anyone about it, even though I had no idea what had happened, at that time I didn't understand the nature of what was happening. In the end, I started telling my classmates about it, which was the dumbest thing I'd ever done. I was a kid, so I had no one else to tell this to. Of course, my classmates told their parents everything, and they called my mom. That day, I cried and told my mom everything after she found out everything. That day, my mother supported and comforted me, and I was sure that everything would end. But it seems my mom didn't do anything to her little brother. And as a result, I lived in this hell for another 5 years. To eliminate questions, he and I live in different houses and I went to his house every holidays and vacations. Every time I went to that house and night fell, he came. When I was at home alone, when I was sleeping. And every time, I hated both him and Mom more and more. The last time this happened, I was 15. I was alone at home and he came. I fought him off for so long, I even hit him on the head with an iron and nothing worked. It was my worst waking nightmare. And by a miracle, I was able to call someone because the phone was lying on the floor next to me. As soon as he heard the beeps, he ran away. It turns out that I called my friend, I tried to calm my voice and invited her for a walk in the evening, and I spent the whole day in a hot tub. That evening, I told my friend everything and cried for a long time. And for a long time I resented my mother and hated her, so after that attempt to tell everything, I never told her anything again. But now, I don't understand if I have the right to be offended by her or not. My mom is a great mom. She always provided me with a better life, fresh food on the table, new clothes, the best toys, and even good technology, despite the fact that she is a single mother. And because my mother provided for me well and always supported me, even when I decided that I would not go to university right after school. And I felt guilty when I even thought that I might resent my mom. I was hurt and hurt that she didn't protect me then and didn't tell my uncle to go to hell, because maybe then everything would have been different. But on the other hand, do I have the right to demand something from her when I'm living a good life? And I decided to write this whole story to ask you if I have the right to be offended by my mother and should I confess everything to her? Or should I just forget all this and thank my mom for having a good life?
Posted May 10, 2026, 2:06 PM UTC