how do i get back at my abusive older brother (i am a minor)

I am a 17-year-old girl, and my brother is 25. He has been mentally abusive toward me for as long as I can remember and has also been physically aggressive on a few occasions, having slapped me four times in the past. We have never had a normal sibling relationship. As far back as I can remember, we have barely spoken to each other, and most of our interactions have consisted of arguments, conflicts, or me confronting him about his behavior."In my country, children cannot move out at 18 to seek independence. It is considered crazy. People only move out when they get married, or if they study or work far from home. Because of this, I can't escape."

He constantly tries to get under my skin and make me angry. He ignores my boundaries, repeats my name over and over,messes with my things, damages my possessions, and calls me all sorts of names. This behavior happens every singleday. What makes it even more disturbing is how differently he behaves around other people. Outside the house, he acts completely normal, but at home he becomes a different person. The contrast between these two sides of him is unsettling i sometimes feels like he is mentally unstable.

Over the years, his behavior has taken a significant toll on me. I do my best to stay calm, but it affects both my emotional and physical well-being. When I bottle up my emotions, I feel a painful knot in my stomach. When I become angry, I start shaking and sometimes feel faint. Things have only gotten worse with time, and I no longer feel comfortable being in the same room as him. I do not feel safe around him, and I have even developed a fear of men because of my experiences with him.

My parents are older now and seem exhausted by the situation and don't want t deal with him anymore . Their attempts to intervene often make things worse. If I talk to my father about it, he becomes angry,shouts and sometimes even hits my brother(i don't want that). If my mother talks to him, he changes the subject, refuses to listen, or claims he understands, only to continue behaving the same way afterward.

Another factor that has influenced the family dynamic is that my brother has Kallmann syndrome, a rare genetic condition that affects hormone production and puberty. Because of this diagnosis, my father often feels sorry for him and tends to be more lenient with him than he might otherwise be. At times, it seems as though the condition is used to explain or justify behavior that should not be excused. Even my brother has admitted that his diagnosis affects the way our parents treat him. However, regardless of his condition, he is often disrespectful not only toward me but also toward our parents. He can be rude, dismissive, and unpleasant toward the very people who continue to support him and help him with responsibilities that he should be handling himself.

I sometimes wonder whether part of the problem comes from how he was raised. When he was younger, our family was financially better off than it is today. We are not struggling now, but we can no longer afford the lifestyle he once had. Growing up, he received expensive gifts, electronics, and vacations that I never had. I do not resent this and remain grateful for what I have, but I think it may have contributed to a sense of entitlement.

My parents also took on many responsibilities that should have been his. They helped with projects, made sure he studied, submitted applications for him, created his CV, and even wrote parts of his final university project. They continue to do many things for him because they fear that if they stop, he will throw away the education and career they worked so hard to build for him.

This dependence shows in his daily life. He rarely cleans up after himself and leaves messes for others to deal with. Every morning, after preparing coffee or breakfast, he leaves the kitchen in disarray. Dirty dishes pile up on his desk and around his room, and he seems to expect other people to handle responsibilities that should be his own. His behavior often comes across as spoiled, inconsiderate, and immature.

My experience was very different. Once I became old enough to rely on myself, my father injured his back and could no longer help me as much at home. As a result, I learned to become independent. I had to take responsibility for my own studies,projects , and personal development. I feel that this independence helped me grow, while my brother remained dependent on others.

Over the years, I have built up a great deal of resentment toward my brother because of everything that has happened between us. Sometimes, the situation feels so overwhelming that I find myself wishing he would disappear from my life or that I had never been born so that I would not have had to endure all of this pain. I know these thoughts come from years of frustration, anger, and emotional exhaustion rather than from what I truly want.

I do not know what to do anymore. My parents have not been very helpful in resolving the situation, and I often feel like my concerns are dismissed or minimized. I am planning to have a serious conversation with my mother about how much this has affected me, although I worry that she may once again brush aside my feelings or avoid addressing the issue directly.

This situation has weighed heavily on our entire family for years. The constant tension, conflicts, and unresolved problems have created an unhealthy environment that affects everyone in the household. At this point, I feel lost and uncertain about how to move forward, but I know that continuing to ignore the problem is no longer an option.

I feel like I want revenge. The way I plan to achieve that is by being successful in school and in life, especially because he never was. However, part of me also wants revenge right now. I find myself wanting to cause small inconveniences that would make him suffer without anyone knowing it was me or making me look like the bad guy. I do not want to create a situation where people would say, "Things are already bad, so why make them worse?" but I still struggle with these feelings because of everything that has happened.

what can i do ?