[2,856] The Shattered Rot

Hi everyone,

This is the opening Chapter of my novel. On this revision, I tried to use the really helpful feedback from my previous submission to make the conflict and plot center-stage, while also (hopefully) making the scene-setting and prose pop a bit more. This revision has quite a bit more action and movement, which is not my strong suit, so any suggestions for improvement in that area would be really helpful, along with whatever else needs work. Thank you in advance!

My Critiques: [2,145], [1,677], [619], [1,068]

My Story: The Shattered Rot