[2585] The Heat Below (Chapter One)
Dear destructive readers: I would love and appreciate your feedback on the first chapter [2585 words] of my adult fantasy WIP: THE HEAT BELOW.
This is the first piece of fiction I’ve submitted. I started writing it over the summer as a short story, but it’s gone way past “short” at this point. I’m hoping it will end up a “normal” length for a fantasy novel. This excerpt is dual POV set in an Earth-like historical fantasy-esque world.
Log line: >!“In an effort to improve her lot in life, a young woman, under the guise of servitude, joins an isolated mountain monastery on a mission to steal the ancient recipe for their coveted brandy. !<
Any and all feedback is welcome, but if you wanted to focus on anything, I’m especially interested in opinions on: 1) pacing, 2) how I’m doing with a close 3rd person POV (does it feel close?) 3) would you be likely to keep reading, why or why not, and 4) do you have a sense of where this is going or what’s going to happen? I’m struggling with the balance of giving the reader their fantasy-genre promises, without giving away too much too fast.
Please forgive the (short?) prologue-ish excerpt. Or don’t, and tell me what you don’t like about it.
My critiques:
Posted Jan 17, 2023, 3:50 AM UTC