Disclaimer

If you are sensitive to subjects of suicide you have been warned this story delves into the darker side of the human mind

New to being critiqued trying to experiment with deeper more psychological writing

This is primarily a Scifi Romance story. I am mainly looking to see if the writing feels realistic. I am experimenting with multiple points of view and trying to make the writing style different for the characters and I want to know if that comes across. I would also like to know what feels awkwardly written or is repetitive among the writing anything else you may think of would also be helpful. Please do your worst, I thank you.

Story: [1375] In the Life Next After

My Critique: [1510] Labyrinth of Pain, first five pages