[2753] The Lies of Ashukin (Updated) 1st Chapter 97,000 word Fantasy Novel

Hey everyone, this is my third post here. The feedback continues to be some of the best, most precise feedback I've ever received. Anyway, if you have a moment, I'd really appreciate eyes on this. And please, be as critical as you're comfortable with. I'm currently trying to attract an agent, so please do rip this opening chapter apart. I would really appreciate all feedback: constructive, encouraging, anything you have.

The same bio/feedback hope from last time:

I've published 6 short stories, including the First Place Winner for the Writer's Digest Popular Fiction Awards ("Jin's Baby", suspense).

My main question is: Based on the strength of this chapter, would you keep reading?

Clean version of Chapter 1 (viewer only):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OuxJGM2miWP8oXPAtqwgMCSu3yBvNAEtLtE42hraIOs/edit?usp=sharing

My Updated Chapter 1 (editable):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1sCHX2jgcFalTpNCyolX7zPEGe8e1b6hqdmRPw8FNU-A/edit?usp=sharing

My feedback:

[2953]

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/10lbyv9/2953_draugma_skeu_ch3/j7eapj7/?context=3

[1510]

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/10moioe/1510_labyrinth_of_pain_first_five_pages/

Thank you again! Hope you're all doing well!