AITA for not picking my girlfriend's daughter up from an event?
Posted Feb 16, 2023, 7:03 AM UTC
2311
So, in this fictional "about a year" relationship, OOP and Amy are close enough to live together with Amy's daughter, but they aren't close enough for Amy to tell him basic info like her age?
Sure.
And then we get the tropey AITA stuff about shrieking and unrealistically fast edits about major relationship decisions that reddit helped make.
Again, sure.
32
OOP and everyone in the comments is assuming that Jess is using “creepy” in a deliberately malicious way and will probably destroy his reputation… my first thought is that it was a joke because it’s so obviously not true. Like, I knew a girl in high school who would call her stepmom “evil stepmom” as a joke, because they had such a GOOD relationship and wanted to poke fun at the stereotype. For all we know, at some point Jess’s friends asked if it was creepy living with some random younger guy her mom was dating and she said “nah, he’s cool, he’s always respectful and sometimes he helps me out with school and stuff,” and “creepy stepdad” was a lighthearted nod to that.
Which doesn’t mean OOP needs to let her say it in perpetuity, of course, but asking for an explanation and then giving his side of the issue is how adults should deal with that situation. (Granted, I haven’t checked his comments, and given the edit I’m sure there’s plenty in there about Jess and Amy being demonic entitled bitches…)
28
Yes this was clearly a joke. He acknowledged it seemed like a joke and that she was smiling. And frankly kids in actual "creepy" situations don't go shouting it around like that.
6
Ive found the so ridiculous its funny jokes dont really work. I can see somebody uncomfortable with a "joke" about how they are sexually attractive to a minor and are acting on it.
4
I don't know, let's not write our own fanfiction based off nothing like AITA does.
2
Wow, imagine being 37 and being this sensitive to what a 17 year old girl says. How do you get through life? How do you get through a single day? If the cashier at Target doesn't make eye contact does he just break down in tears?
26
Wimens bad, amirite?
22
"evacuated to her room"
A very normal way to say this of course.
13
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1
In case this story gets deleted/removed:
AITA for not picking my girlfriend's daughter up from an event?
I'm 37, and I've been in a relationship with a mid-40s woman (Amy, she doesn't want to tell me her specific age, which I don't mind) for about a year. She has a 17-year-old daughter I'll call Jess.
Over the weekend, Jess had a school event and had asked me for a ride in advance. I didn't mind in the slightest. I drove her over to the school and we had a nice chat in the car. When she got out though, a bunch of her friends were there, and she waved to me and shouted "Later creepy stepdad!" with a huge smile. I think it was a joke to her friends? They laughed and I stared awkwardly for a few seconds. Then Jess said "Go, go!" literally shooing me away.
I drove home thinking whatever, but over time it started to really grate on me. I know that she wanted to just show off for them, but I didn't want to be stuck in a car with a girl who considered me creepy in any way. I shot her a text around that time that she would have to find another way to get home.
She didn't see my text for some time, but a few hours later she called me asking for a ride. I told her that I couldn't do that as I had had a couple of drinks (which was true). Then she half hung up on me and apparently called her mother.
Amy was busy working on something at the time, and told me that I needed to get over there and pick her up. I responded that she could walk, get a ride from her friends, or take public transportation. It was 8pm in one of the safest cities in our country and that she was going to be fine. Amy then walked away, grabbed my keys, and drove off in my car, despite having a suspended license.
About 15 minutes later Amy came home and shrieked at me about my treatment of Jess while Jess evacuated to her room. I told her that she really shouldn't be driving without a suspended license, and Amy said she wouldn't have to if I were more responsible. When I reminded her of why her license was suspended she got furious (it's a pretty touchy subject) and told me she'd leave if she had anywhere else to go. I brushed her off with a lame "that sounds like a you problem" and we haven't talked since.
Was I being an asshole here?
Edit: Thanks for the responses everyone. I've decided that due to this situation (among other things) Amy and Jess are going to be leaving my residence. I told Amy that she has until next weekend to get out, which caused a pretty terrible fight, but the red flags are very concerning. I'm sure she'll try to lovebomb me so she can stay, but I've made up my mind. I really appreciate your input on the matter as it helped me decide.
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1
ok how far off the conspiracy deep end are they gonna go with this lol