The Rites of Pain v2- First Ten Pages [2918]

This is a revised version of a work I originally posted under the title "Labyrinth of Pain." I intend to query this work to agents, so my primary concern is whether or not this sample "hooks" a person into wanting to read more.

I appreciate all comments.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1O2ADEZnU9KoG9twdK7gX2c3Cuq71dskvEIVB3lX61K4/edit?usp=sharing

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Here are my critiques:

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/10xe93q/2646_anathema_v2_fantasy_detective/

https://www.reddit.com/r/DestructiveReaders/comments/10wqgoc/2437_rewrite_chap_1_the_lies_of_ashukin/j8rv6kg/?context=3