[2216] The Tragedy in Crogdenshire (pt.1)

Hi there,

So I've been writing a lot about a certain duo of policemen (Wilson and McKinsey) in an early 20th century version of England. I have a couple of short stories together and should that ever get published as one book (a man can dream right?), I want the story to end with the villain for the next book being set free into the world.

This is the beginning of that story. A lighthouse keeper in a small town starts seeing strange things above the water. This story should be around 5-6k words and it ends with a tragedy, and an unforetold evil being unleashed upon the world.

To be clear: this is also a fantasy setting with certain types of magic, monsters, daemons, and the like. The villain is not human.

my story

Please leave any and all thoughts you have as you read! Also feel free to answer these questions I have:

1. !I am unsure if I'm doing too much telling in this story. For some things I'm not sure how I could 'show' them instead however, like for example the one accident in the lighthouse keepers career. Though perhaps that detail isnt relevant and I might as well cut it?!<

2. !As I write more and more I feel like I'm getting more comfortable in how I describe things. Do you feel like this piece has a distinct voice? !<

3. !The accents? Yay or nah?!<

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Offerings for the old gods and the new:

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