There's some bad news and there's some good news, and then there's some really bad news.

Probably shouldn't have left the quiet kid's "don't come to school tomorrow" message as his new phone wallpaper

Elmo was lucky that the ropes binding the two women he was holding captive had burned away in the fire. No one would ever know the depths of his depravity and with a bribe to the coroner, he could continue with new victims unimpeded.

"Oh boy! Elmo can't wait to ride in the big firetruck!" Yelled Elmo in false delight. Internally, Elmo was in rage.

'How could those two fuck up THAT bad!?' Elmo pondered. All those two had to do was burn down his place while he wasn't there, destroying the evidence and maybe even collecting a nice insurance check too.

But no, those fucking retards got themselves stuck inside instead. Elmo figured they must have died from the fumes, if they were burned they wouldn't bother trying to get someone to identify the bodies. However they died, he just hoped it was painful. The whole point was for the arson to not have any ties to him, now there was no denying a connection, everyone knew Ernie and Bert, and everyone knew they knew him. He felt utterly fucked.

When they arrived at the morque a duo of stern police officers greeted him and brought him inside. They was no hiding his distraught face now, but at least his visage matched his surroundings.

"Do you recognize them Elmo?" One of the officers asked him as they approached a window.

Elmo stood completely transfixed at the corpses. The FEMALE corpses! This wasn't Bert and Ernie! He had no idea who either of them were.

"I.... I don't know." Elmo managed to stammer out, his stomach churning with simultaneous feelings of dread, relief, and confusion. 'Who the fuck were they!? Where's Ernie and Bert? Did they do this?' Elmo knew once the cops decided to release him, he had to find those two fuckers. And if they were trying to pull anything, they were going to wish they had burned to death.

Elmo was surprised when he found out the man with his mother wasn't his father