[2313] Antwerp's Island (Ch 1)

Thriller

Howdy Destructive Readers,

Posting the first chapter to my novel Antwerp's Island. I've posted it before and received some harrowing but ultimately effective feedback. Since then, I've re-tweaked and rewritten based on feedback here and from alpha readers.

Here's the link: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1voQAo8g2HYrz2AGZAWN5193Rmguydt1aZVAgqraQyOU/edit?usp=sharing

Now I'm in the final stages of the beta draft. Going to be sending out the novel to new readers. Feel very good about the merits of the rest of the novel, with readers saying they get hooked *after* the first chapter and have to finish. But previously the first chapter has been tough to get through.

So the primary feedback I'm looking for is: when you finish, do you want to read more? Is it easy to read?

I'm open to all other feedback as well -- anything and everything to make the book better, the prose tighter.

Working draft of the query letter (spoilers):

An undercover Lieutenant Edwards and eighty other contestants have made it through The Trials, a bloody reality television event.

When the contestants arrive at the purpose-built island for the final round, entrenched business mogul John Antwerp, host and sponsor of The Trials, reveals an enormous cash prize and the truth. He has unleashed a ransomware attack against governments and businesses worldwide. The contestants' task in order to win the cash prize is to find the decryption key to the ransomware, hidden somewhere on the island, and to do with as they wish. Lieutenant Edwards' mission is simple. Get the decryption key first, then get back to the ship.

But the contestants, and other mysterious forces, have devolved into violence. What started as a mission to find the key has turned into a fight for survival.

In ANTWERP'S ISLAND, a 67,000 word sci-fi thriller in the style of Blake Crouch's Dark Matter meets Squid Games, follow the points-of-view of Lieutenant Edwards, the simple Lewis, and the time-traveler Jean in a tangled web of events far outside of their control.

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Critiques:

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[2602] Chimeras

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[2785] Villainess (pt1)

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Optional notes for FAQs:

!No, Lieutenant Edwards is not named in this. No, we don't know what they look like -- that's a treat for Ch 2 and 3.!<

!All of the scenes are necessary for later plot points and events, or are direct foreshadowing. I have cut this early plot to the bone.!<

!Thanks so much for reading!!<

Posted Feb 26, 2023, 6:47 PM UTC

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