[1360] Unwilting

Logline: Trapped inside a living garden with an obsessive little girl, Azeline must piece together the memories of her past to figure out a way to escape the girl's grasp.

Link to google doc [Edited] A user commented on the jarring shift in behaviour and I agree. So, I quickly edited the doc.

Critiique: [1363] Gonna have some fun

I have completely rewritten this story based on the constructive feedback I received. I feel like I have something good but it might be the Dunning-Kruger's effect. Thus, I come here looking for critiques once again.

I would like to know your general impression, as well as the following questions:

• Does it make sense that the protag wants to hide her memories from the little girl?
• Do you find the transition between the flashback and the real world, clunky?
• Are the two characters compelling and interesting? Does it feel like they have depths?
• Does the first chapter hooks you enough to read the next chapter? Does the plot interest you enough?

Don't be afraid to be harsh in your feedback. I still have much to learn as a writer.

Link to google doc [original] ... This is for reference only. Don't have to read this one.