I wish I was $1 richer
Posted Mar 19, 2023, 1:58 PM UTC
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Granted, you lose a dollar. You were one dollar richer, but you no longer are. You silently wish you used the future tense in your wish.
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I wish English didn't have a shitty future tense
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Granted. Time ends and there is no more future to refer to.
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This is by far the best monkey's paw I've seen in a while
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Well this seems fun.
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"I wish to be $1 richer"
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Granted. You are $1 richer than you were at the age of 3.
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Granted. At some point in your life you will have $1 more than you do now, but never more than that.
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"granted, weird name to choose tho"
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Granted, you receive one unredeemed lottery ticket with a prize worth $1
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Granted. You find $1 in your desk drawer in the office. As tax season concludes, you get a phone call from your stingy boss “by the way, that $1 was your bonus for the year”. You suddenly feel that you’re being watched. You had scarcely put down the phone before your door is blown off its hinges by the most terrifying three letters you have ever seen.
I.R.S.
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😨
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Granted. You get a 1 dollar coupon to a restaurant.
It’s expired.
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Granted. 6 eggs worth 1 dollar are thrown on you
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Damn where do you live where 6 eggs are a dollar?
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I just googled the price. I don't where the data wss from
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Granted, you receive a one dollar bill with Joe Biden's face on it.
When you try to use it you get arrested for counterfeiting.
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Granted, you receive a free gift from dollar tree of one dollar worth of free gifts
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Um actually 🤓🤓 that's wealth and he didn't wish to be 1 dollar wealthier but richer so 🤓🤓🤓
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Granted but you have the US national debt
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Granted but hyperinflation begins as soon as you spend it
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You return to your car to find coffee stains all over it. Under your wipers is a dollar and a note saying "Sorry". The car wash charges 8$ tho...
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Granted , you go through the entire events of breaking bad , but die as soon as you gain a dollar. You never specified how
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Granted, at 11pm that evening you win the biggest littery jackpot ever recorded well after the paw curls. your already amusement at irony increases significantly. and continues to do so as time progresses. with the payout of the lottery, you net just over a billion dollars. after it deposits into your account, you find yourself pulled twords ironic situations almost magically. every ironic situation, to be exact. as time goes by and you are pulled to more and more ironic situations you begin to learn to teleport to meet the demand of the iornys. after each ironic intetaction you are forced to tip 1 dollar. your days are spent teleporting and tipping. with the exception of the instances when you are eating or using the bathroom ect. eventually the news catches wind of this story and covers it on the evening news. they lable you 1 dollar richer. governments try to get thier hands on you, but not for long.. desperate people in foreign countries learn of your teloportation to bring dollars in they use this and generate fake iornys as to get a payday. after some time you are forced to declare bankruptcy. starving in a goventment holding cell for study, you still wish you were just one dollar richer. the irony doesn't escape you.
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granted, you now have one additional dollar in your bank account. i probably woulda used that finger for something bigger, but hey, you do you pal
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Granted, when you go to the mall, you see the bouncy ball gachipons. Curious, you spend a dollar there and get 2 for 1.
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granted, you use to be dollar richer but now you are a human
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Granted the dollar is in your wallet however your wallet is stitched closed so you can't retrieve it without sitting down for hours meticially taking out the complicated stitching by hand, which means to retrieve the dollar you will lose many dollars you could've made during the time it takes to complete the process
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Granted. You receive one Zimbabwean dollar.
I think a turd is worth more than that.
Now that i think of it, can something have a value so low that there is a value for the fact that its value is insanely low?
Turd can be used for fertilizer. Crops worth more than Zimbabwean dollar.
People have sold it for research and gotten money you would'nt believe