[1927] Rumor Has It

Hello, this is actually more like [1047] + [880] :)

I posted my first chapter on this subreddit a few months ago, and the most crucial feedback I got was that the hook of the story needs to come sooner. Basically I was told that the narration needed to start at a different point than the one I had chosen since that would be a better hook.

I am now posting both versions of those first few pages of a larger novel. The first one is mentioned as 'new' and the second is the 'original'. The feedback I am looking for is regarding which actually works better. The new one is written in third person POV whereas the original is in first person POV. I think you'll be able to see that they are both narrating the same story, but it would be nice to look at the second ('original') piece with a fresh pair of eyes if you can try.

Thank you again for your help!

Rumor Has It

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